Monday, 28 December 2009
Tuesday, 22 December 2009
Wednesday, 9 December 2009
The Birth Story
I have tried to make this more articulate and interesting, and I can't be bothered really, so will just post this for anybody who cares. There will at some point be a part 2, which is about how hard it is to get out of hospital once you go in!
Started this on the 8th of November 2009
I guess I had better get around to writing this up before I forget everything. It didn't go as planned, I guess, but it was a quite nice birth, and having her here is worth it all. I felt better the second she was born, and all of the misery of the past few months seems really far away and trivial.
I had a few contractions on the 15th around teatime. They were different from Braxton-Hicks contractions so I reckoned I would be going into labour in the next few days. And I did. Friday the 16th, teatime again I started with a few contractions. I talked to a friend on the phone, and said I thought something was happening, and so it was. M got a lift to Guides, and I went to bed before she got home. I thought that if I was going to go into labour, I should get a bit of rest. Good thing too.
By about 2 am, the contractions were getting too strong to sleep through. I went downstairs, got a few things ready in the living room, pillows, oil burners, music player, etc. Then I settled down to watch a DVD of Charade, one of my all time favourite films, with Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant. The contractions were coming about every 5-6 minutes, but weren't all that strong. I wanted to leave it as long as possible before calling the midwife.
I lay on the sofa, with a timer in my hand for the next couple of hours. It was about 4-4:30 when I got Al up and we called the midwife out. I was getting excited, but really wanted it to be over. I hadn't really done any preparation for labour, and as I had been so miserable while pregnant was just looking forward to not be pregnant anymore, and having a baby to cuddle!
The midwife was called Lynn, but I had not met her before. She was quite nice and seemed excited to be doing a home birth. Unfortunately, that wasn't to be. She monitored my blood pressure for a while, which was quite high. I imagine that was due to anxiety on my part. Now that I think about it, I imagine that has a lot to do with not having had any midwife or medical support for having a home birth. And generally, I had been so busy with regular home life, that I didn't get a chance to find my confidence when I came to labour again. Either that, or having done it so many times, I didn't feel the need to focus on labour this time. :-)
In any case, she tested my urine, which had a trace of protein and we agreed to call an ambulance to take me into hospital. To be honest, I was fine with that at the time. Neither Al nor I had ever been in an ambulance before, and we sort of treated it like a fun thing to do. As we waited for the ambulance to arrive, he woke the kids, and ran around packing a bag for me, "What should I pack?" "Lots of knickers! CDs! And my Ginger Ale!" All of the important stuff that you need when having a baby. At this point I was only about 2 cm dilated.
We arrived at the hospital at about 6:30. It had been a nice calm drive, in spite of me telling the driver to go fast and hit all speed bumps! I was laying on my side on the trolley and had some really strong contractions on the way. I kept expecting things to get started really quickly at any moment.
We were shown intoa delivery room, which was pretty horrible to be honest. I am pretty sure it was last docorated in the '80s and there was paint peeling from the walls. We had a midwife called Denise who was really not engaging with us at all. She tried to take my blood, which hurt like hell, more than the contractions, and then gave up. I had told her that I have difficult veins, but she stuck the needle in my wrist and hoped for the best. We were a bit disappointed with her so were relieved a few minutes later when she introduced us to Julie, who was just coming on duty. So Denise's attitude was understandable, since she was at the end of a long night shift, and wasn't going to see us through, but it would have been nice to know that when we first met.
Julie was lovely. She managed to take my blood with no problems. They were checking for pre-eclampsia. By this time, my blood pressure had gone down, and Julie said that I would probably be able to go home and still have a home birth. I reckoned I wouldn't have time, and that is how it turned out.
We stayed in the delivery room, listening to music, Afro-Celt Sound System, and me drinking my Ginger Ale. Contractions were still coming every 5 minutes and were strong enough to be uncomfortable, but not painful. I was just impatient and wanted my body to get on with it!!!!
At about half past 8 they said they were sending me up to the ante-natal ward as I was still only 2 cm dilated. I remember thinking that was a waste of time, but up we went, walking and pausing to have contractions in the hall and to chat with other midwives. Jacquie was one of them and Al remembers her saying, "We'll be seeing you back down here soon!" It was really quite a friendly atmosphere. They reckoned my blood results would come back soon, and everything would be fine, and they would send me back home for a home birth.
We got into the ante natal room at about 8:50. It was really really tiny. I am glad we didn't have to stay there long. It was hot and stuffy and we couldn't figure out how to open the windows, and there wasn't a working CD player. I had to walk out into the hall to use the toilet, which was quite painful by this time. We had a student midwife whose name I forget. I think we were there for about 15-20 minutes when I was asking for gas and air as things were quite painful. The contractions were getting stronger, but not closer together. I kept hanging onto Al, who was being wonderfully supportive, holding me up, feeding me ginger ale, etc. I kept saying I wasn't coping, and that I wanted to take a break for half an hour...if only!? At one point I said, " I can't cope any more!" and he pointed out that when I had said that when giving birth to M, she was born about 20 minutes later. He said, "We'll have a baby by 10 o'clock." It was about 10 past 9 at this time.
When I started asking for the gas an air, the student midwife came and felt my tummy for a couple of contractions, and then went to get the staff midwife. I can't remember her name, but she was rather pretty, and very short. Funny the things that stick in your mind. She examined me (at my request) and said I was about 5cm dilated. I pointed out that once I get to 5-6 cm, I go fast. So they called downstairs, and Julie came up with a wheelchair to take me back down to the delivery suite. I really don't understand why any hospital thinks it a good idea to have to transport women in labour! The ride in the wheelchair was the worst part of the whole thing, bumping into and out of the lift, having to sit when I wanted to stand. But we made it back downstairs as quickly as possible.
She took us back to the same room we had just left, and the cleaner was in there saying "I haven't finished!" But I said, "It's ok, it's my mess. This is my room!" So off she went and things really got started then. It was about 9:15. I was standing up leaning on the bed, which was cranked really high. I remember thinking I didn't want to give birth standing up as I had with M because the floor was so unpleasant. Julie was in and out of the room. I was only focused on Al at this point so everything else is a bit blurry. He put Fat Boy Slim on the CD player :-) and was holding me up, and helping me with the gas an air, and telling me it wasn't going to be long. My waters still hadn't gone, but I think there was a bit of leakage.
I remember climbing up on the bed when the midwife went out of the room for a minute, and when she came back in I was nearly ready to push. The head of the bed was lifted up and I was leaning over that holding the gas and air. It is amazing how with every birth I have just naturally wanted to be in a different position. Very soon, I had the urge to push, and she told me to just go with it. The baby was crowning and I remember Julie saying she was going to burst the amniotic sac. I didn't realize at the time that there was meconium in the waters. She called for another midwife, and when she saw the meconium, she called for the paediatric resus team. I only had another couple of contractions, and pushed her out all the way. I really was quick, and is hard to remember the details. What I remember is that I felt OK, that I was glad she was arriving, that Al was beign great, that I wasn't feeling coerced by the midwife. And even though the details are getting foggy, I think that positive feeling is the most important thing, even though I can't really remember on what it is based.
I think A was a face presentation, as she has lots of bruising on her face, and I remember Julie saying that her chin is out now. I remember just wanting it to be over. The urge to push is so strong, and I just wanted to keep pushing even when I wasn't contracting. But I managed to stop myself and breath a bit as I didn't want to damage my cervix. But still it only took about 3 contractions worth of pushing for her to be born.
Because of the meconium, they cut the chord straight away, and took her over to the medical table to check her out. Of course, I didn't see any of this as I was facing the other way, but Al says she flopped onto the bed face up. Julie said she was a bit floppy and a bit shocked. She didn't cry, but they soon realized that she was fine, that she hadn't breathed in any meconium, so they cancelled the call for the paediatric resus people. All I remember was saying, " I want her!" over and over as I turned around to lay on the bed. They brought her to me very quickly, and covered us up. She nursed pretty soon. I delivered the placenta with no injections, although there was some left behind which the midwife removed eventually. (And a bit which came out a few days later with no problems!)
And then we were left to be with each other. Al and A and I had over an hour on our own in the delivery room. A nursed for a of of this time. And Al and I just took the time to look at her. :-)
Started this on the 8th of November 2009
I guess I had better get around to writing this up before I forget everything. It didn't go as planned, I guess, but it was a quite nice birth, and having her here is worth it all. I felt better the second she was born, and all of the misery of the past few months seems really far away and trivial.
I had a few contractions on the 15th around teatime. They were different from Braxton-Hicks contractions so I reckoned I would be going into labour in the next few days. And I did. Friday the 16th, teatime again I started with a few contractions. I talked to a friend on the phone, and said I thought something was happening, and so it was. M got a lift to Guides, and I went to bed before she got home. I thought that if I was going to go into labour, I should get a bit of rest. Good thing too.
By about 2 am, the contractions were getting too strong to sleep through. I went downstairs, got a few things ready in the living room, pillows, oil burners, music player, etc. Then I settled down to watch a DVD of Charade, one of my all time favourite films, with Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant. The contractions were coming about every 5-6 minutes, but weren't all that strong. I wanted to leave it as long as possible before calling the midwife.
I lay on the sofa, with a timer in my hand for the next couple of hours. It was about 4-4:30 when I got Al up and we called the midwife out. I was getting excited, but really wanted it to be over. I hadn't really done any preparation for labour, and as I had been so miserable while pregnant was just looking forward to not be pregnant anymore, and having a baby to cuddle!
The midwife was called Lynn, but I had not met her before. She was quite nice and seemed excited to be doing a home birth. Unfortunately, that wasn't to be. She monitored my blood pressure for a while, which was quite high. I imagine that was due to anxiety on my part. Now that I think about it, I imagine that has a lot to do with not having had any midwife or medical support for having a home birth. And generally, I had been so busy with regular home life, that I didn't get a chance to find my confidence when I came to labour again. Either that, or having done it so many times, I didn't feel the need to focus on labour this time. :-)
In any case, she tested my urine, which had a trace of protein and we agreed to call an ambulance to take me into hospital. To be honest, I was fine with that at the time. Neither Al nor I had ever been in an ambulance before, and we sort of treated it like a fun thing to do. As we waited for the ambulance to arrive, he woke the kids, and ran around packing a bag for me, "What should I pack?" "Lots of knickers! CDs! And my Ginger Ale!" All of the important stuff that you need when having a baby. At this point I was only about 2 cm dilated.
We arrived at the hospital at about 6:30. It had been a nice calm drive, in spite of me telling the driver to go fast and hit all speed bumps! I was laying on my side on the trolley and had some really strong contractions on the way. I kept expecting things to get started really quickly at any moment.
We were shown intoa delivery room, which was pretty horrible to be honest. I am pretty sure it was last docorated in the '80s and there was paint peeling from the walls. We had a midwife called Denise who was really not engaging with us at all. She tried to take my blood, which hurt like hell, more than the contractions, and then gave up. I had told her that I have difficult veins, but she stuck the needle in my wrist and hoped for the best. We were a bit disappointed with her so were relieved a few minutes later when she introduced us to Julie, who was just coming on duty. So Denise's attitude was understandable, since she was at the end of a long night shift, and wasn't going to see us through, but it would have been nice to know that when we first met.
Julie was lovely. She managed to take my blood with no problems. They were checking for pre-eclampsia. By this time, my blood pressure had gone down, and Julie said that I would probably be able to go home and still have a home birth. I reckoned I wouldn't have time, and that is how it turned out.
We stayed in the delivery room, listening to music, Afro-Celt Sound System, and me drinking my Ginger Ale. Contractions were still coming every 5 minutes and were strong enough to be uncomfortable, but not painful. I was just impatient and wanted my body to get on with it!!!!
At about half past 8 they said they were sending me up to the ante-natal ward as I was still only 2 cm dilated. I remember thinking that was a waste of time, but up we went, walking and pausing to have contractions in the hall and to chat with other midwives. Jacquie was one of them and Al remembers her saying, "We'll be seeing you back down here soon!" It was really quite a friendly atmosphere. They reckoned my blood results would come back soon, and everything would be fine, and they would send me back home for a home birth.
We got into the ante natal room at about 8:50. It was really really tiny. I am glad we didn't have to stay there long. It was hot and stuffy and we couldn't figure out how to open the windows, and there wasn't a working CD player. I had to walk out into the hall to use the toilet, which was quite painful by this time. We had a student midwife whose name I forget. I think we were there for about 15-20 minutes when I was asking for gas and air as things were quite painful. The contractions were getting stronger, but not closer together. I kept hanging onto Al, who was being wonderfully supportive, holding me up, feeding me ginger ale, etc. I kept saying I wasn't coping, and that I wanted to take a break for half an hour...if only!? At one point I said, " I can't cope any more!" and he pointed out that when I had said that when giving birth to M, she was born about 20 minutes later. He said, "We'll have a baby by 10 o'clock." It was about 10 past 9 at this time.
When I started asking for the gas an air, the student midwife came and felt my tummy for a couple of contractions, and then went to get the staff midwife. I can't remember her name, but she was rather pretty, and very short. Funny the things that stick in your mind. She examined me (at my request) and said I was about 5cm dilated. I pointed out that once I get to 5-6 cm, I go fast. So they called downstairs, and Julie came up with a wheelchair to take me back down to the delivery suite. I really don't understand why any hospital thinks it a good idea to have to transport women in labour! The ride in the wheelchair was the worst part of the whole thing, bumping into and out of the lift, having to sit when I wanted to stand. But we made it back downstairs as quickly as possible.
She took us back to the same room we had just left, and the cleaner was in there saying "I haven't finished!" But I said, "It's ok, it's my mess. This is my room!" So off she went and things really got started then. It was about 9:15. I was standing up leaning on the bed, which was cranked really high. I remember thinking I didn't want to give birth standing up as I had with M because the floor was so unpleasant. Julie was in and out of the room. I was only focused on Al at this point so everything else is a bit blurry. He put Fat Boy Slim on the CD player :-) and was holding me up, and helping me with the gas an air, and telling me it wasn't going to be long. My waters still hadn't gone, but I think there was a bit of leakage.
I remember climbing up on the bed when the midwife went out of the room for a minute, and when she came back in I was nearly ready to push. The head of the bed was lifted up and I was leaning over that holding the gas and air. It is amazing how with every birth I have just naturally wanted to be in a different position. Very soon, I had the urge to push, and she told me to just go with it. The baby was crowning and I remember Julie saying she was going to burst the amniotic sac. I didn't realize at the time that there was meconium in the waters. She called for another midwife, and when she saw the meconium, she called for the paediatric resus team. I only had another couple of contractions, and pushed her out all the way. I really was quick, and is hard to remember the details. What I remember is that I felt OK, that I was glad she was arriving, that Al was beign great, that I wasn't feeling coerced by the midwife. And even though the details are getting foggy, I think that positive feeling is the most important thing, even though I can't really remember on what it is based.
I think A was a face presentation, as she has lots of bruising on her face, and I remember Julie saying that her chin is out now. I remember just wanting it to be over. The urge to push is so strong, and I just wanted to keep pushing even when I wasn't contracting. But I managed to stop myself and breath a bit as I didn't want to damage my cervix. But still it only took about 3 contractions worth of pushing for her to be born.
Because of the meconium, they cut the chord straight away, and took her over to the medical table to check her out. Of course, I didn't see any of this as I was facing the other way, but Al says she flopped onto the bed face up. Julie said she was a bit floppy and a bit shocked. She didn't cry, but they soon realized that she was fine, that she hadn't breathed in any meconium, so they cancelled the call for the paediatric resus people. All I remember was saying, " I want her!" over and over as I turned around to lay on the bed. They brought her to me very quickly, and covered us up. She nursed pretty soon. I delivered the placenta with no injections, although there was some left behind which the midwife removed eventually. (And a bit which came out a few days later with no problems!)
And then we were left to be with each other. Al and A and I had over an hour on our own in the delivery room. A nursed for a of of this time. And Al and I just took the time to look at her. :-)
Saturday, 24 October 2009
Just baby stuff
Too tired to do anything other than post some more photos. Thanks for all the comments. I will get back to you someday. :-) Although in the photos, you should note the lovely handmade cardigan by Martine, and the blanket made by me. Shame you can't see the socks, made by Tish.
And if anybody can explain to me why my photos are never arranged in posts as they are when I am composing, then appreciation will be forthcoming.
And if anybody can explain to me why my photos are never arranged in posts as they are when I am composing, then appreciation will be forthcoming.
Sunday, 18 October 2009
Wednesday, 14 October 2009
The Big Belly
Sunday, 11 October 2009
Productivity!
It is amazing what you can accomplish when the kids all go out for the afternoon! I have been sitting and knitting, and crocheting, and mastering my mattress stitch all day. I had done most of the knitting for these things, but never got around to stitching them together, but today I have done it! Listened to vinyl, Talking Heads, Tears for Fears, Bad Brains, some Classical film scores, and Voila! Here they are!
The Debbie Bliss Cashmerino hoody!
The Sirdar Supersoft Acrylic Cutie Patootie - slightly modified.
And the Tiny tots cardigan with crocheted edging because I couldn't be bothered to pick up and knit all of those stitches.
Ahhhhh! They are all sized 6 to 12 months, so hopefully they will get some use. I feel like I have accomplished something. :-)
The Debbie Bliss Cashmerino hoody!
The Sirdar Supersoft Acrylic Cutie Patootie - slightly modified.
And the Tiny tots cardigan with crocheted edging because I couldn't be bothered to pick up and knit all of those stitches.
Ahhhhh! They are all sized 6 to 12 months, so hopefully they will get some use. I feel like I have accomplished something. :-)
Saturday, 10 October 2009
Why witty?
When I named this blog I did actually think it would be all about knitting, since my family get sick of listening to me go on about wool and patterns etc. And I also thought it would be witty, since my plan was to chronicle all of my silly mistakes.
I guess with getting pregnant, and the government rearing its fascist head, I sort of got away from all of that. But here we go.
The good news is that I finally managed to do a decent mattress stitch. The bad news is that I managed to do it on a baby jumper, which I then noticed I had screwed up the front sides. :-( so this morning I have actually managed to unpick the mattress stitch, and undo the top half of both sides of the front, and an reknitting, and will soon be re-mattress stitching.
I am determined to get this done today! I must get something done! It is actually getting hard to knit anything, and I have to hold my arms above my HUGE belly! Maybe if I finish all of the lovely things I am trying to make for this baby, she will want to come out soon!!!!
I guess with getting pregnant, and the government rearing its fascist head, I sort of got away from all of that. But here we go.
The good news is that I finally managed to do a decent mattress stitch. The bad news is that I managed to do it on a baby jumper, which I then noticed I had screwed up the front sides. :-( so this morning I have actually managed to unpick the mattress stitch, and undo the top half of both sides of the front, and an reknitting, and will soon be re-mattress stitching.
I am determined to get this done today! I must get something done! It is actually getting hard to knit anything, and I have to hold my arms above my HUGE belly! Maybe if I finish all of the lovely things I am trying to make for this baby, she will want to come out soon!!!!
Friday, 9 October 2009
The government sucks
http://www.dcsf.gov.uk/everychildmatters/_download/?id=6667 At some point I hope to have the energy to produce a more articulate argument, but since nobody is listening anyway, why bother to expend the energy. I am furious.
Friday, 2 October 2009
Maternity care in south Manchester is complete Crap
I never thought I would say that, especially considering that I have had some lovely midwives, and 3 wonderful home birth experience. I have no idea what has happened in the past 10 years, (M is 10 years old today!) but I cannot believe how complete crap my antenatal care has been.
I had been a bit disappointed, and confused by it all, but today just tops it all off. I want nothing more to do with them at all.
A little bit of history. When I found out I was pregnant, I phoned my GP surgery to make an appointment with the midwife. I was told I had to see the GP. So I made an appointment to see the GP. She is very nice, but didn't do anything, didn't confirm pregnancy or anything like that. She referred me to either the hospital or the midwives, actually it is all a bit vague now.
I seem to remember getting a referral through the post, saying I could have an appointment in 67 days or something like that. I phoned up and was told I could make an appointment for a phone appointment. Which was only slightly ridiculous. But that is what I did. In the mean time, I think I saw a midwife at the GP surgery, who told me to go for my hospital appointments and go back to see them after 20 week scan. So I phoned the hospital again, and eventually got a booking in appointment. I had to go to Withington Community hospital for this. I resent going to hospitals, but went along. I have had to go back several times, and each time I get a little more angry.
I saw a great midwife, I think she was called Remy. Said I wanted a home birth, and she was fine with that, and my history, but did say I would have to see the consultant because my BMI is higher than they like for home births.
Went back for 20 week scan. Fine. Saw a doctor, not sure who she was, but I don't think it was the consultant, I think it was a locum. She was just a bit wet. Didn't really say anything of any importance, just the "We would like for you to be in hospital." Which I still don't get. I have a history of 5 births, no complications, all normal, and 3 of those have been at home. What is the big deal? So I happily ignored her.
Went on with the weird routines they have. Had bloods done at 16 weeks, which I have never had done before. And why is that no matter how many times I tell people they will end up sending me to the phlebotomist, because I have bad veins, they always feel a need to stick me with a needle first. As if they know my veins better than me. I have had holes made in every inch of my arms, wrists and back of hands this pregnancy.
Anyway, continued to see midwives at the GP surgery, and had a 28 week scan as well. All of this much more than I have ever had before. Tried to get out of making an appointment for 36 week scan, but they gave me one anyway.
So I went along last week for my 36 week scan, and sonographer was cross because they hadn't booked me in with her, and she didn't want to do me. In the end she did. She spent all of about 60 seconds taking measurements and then sent me back over the hall to the antenatal clinic. I had no idea what was going on, but they called me in to see a doctor, who proceeded to tell me why I should go into hospital. All things I have heard before, over 40, fat, grand multiparity, anaemia, and now they could add to the list, a big baby. I listened to him, pointed out that I had had no support. That I wasn't happy. That I wanted more information about all of these things...statistics, research papers, academic journals discussing these so-called risks. He didn't have them, and went to get his registrar.
Now, I have to admit that the registrar was a nice guy. Adi or somthing was his name. He spent ages with me, and was very up front about their need to cover their backs. But still, I don't have any statistics, or anything concrete to justify changing my mind from wanting a home birth. I said I would think about it, and talk to the midwife, at my appointment 2 days later.
So 2 days later, I am 36 weeks, and see a midwife who I have at least met once before. She isn't all that helpful. Apparently, it isn't a case of them 'wanting' to support me. It is a case of them 'having' to support me. She suggested that I write a letter waiving blame should anything go wrong. I actually said, "I want some support" but I guess that wasn't forthcoming. All that happened was she told me when I could go have a look at the birthing suite, and that she would leave a message for the midwife team leader to talk about my concerns. Apparently she is still away on holiday.
Oh, and to top that off, at that appointment I was told that I would no longer be able to have antenatal care there at the surgery, effective immediately, and would have to go one of the bloody Sure start centres. I was given a leaflet with phone numbers and told to make an appointment.
Well, I didn't. It was only a week ago.
So that leads us up to today. Which has just been shit. For the past couple of days I have noticed that I have suddenly started swelling. Which is fine, and normal. Except that I have never really experienced it before. So I thought I would leave it a day or two. This morning I woke up about 3 or 4 am, and my feet were really, really puffy. I was going to the clinic to have my dressing changed, and while I was there, I asked the nurse to take my blood pressure. It was 159 over 97. But it was on one of the machine ones that are not very reliable.
But it did mean that I thought I had a pretty good reason to phone the midwives. Especially since all the literature says that if you get swollen suddenly, to phone them. Well, it is a bit different if you actually try to phone. I phoned the number that was written down, which turned out to be wrong. There's a 2 not a 7. They gave me a different number. Which I didn't want either. I phoned the ANC Whythenshawe number, and spoke to somebody who transferred me to the Triage nurse. The Triage nurse said they were too full to see me there so I should phone one of the Sure Start centres and insist on being seen. She told me to rind Darley ave but didn't have a phone number. So I find a number online, which is actually their satelllite centre, and am given teh Darley ave number.
Finally get through, and am told they have no appointments. I explain the situation, and she tries to give me the number for the community midwives, who I have already phoned, as it was them that transferred me to the Triage. At this point, I am in tears. I cannot believe how they really don't give a shit about me or my baby, but all of their advice is based on not wanting to be sued. Actually phone them up with a concern, and they couldn't care less.
The receptionist says if she tries to squeeze me in, they will be cross. But she goes away, saying she will phone back before 12. She does. And apparently somebody has cancelled an appointment, and I can have it.
It was an experience. Firstly, I resent having to go somewhere new at 37 weeks. Secondly, I resent having to go someplace that is a 10 minute drive away, when I am used to going to my GP surgery, which is a 10 minute walk away (and that is a slow 36 week pregnant walk!)
Thirdly, I really resent that patronizing way they treat you in places like that. Some woman came up and offered me a breastfeeding leaflet. I just said no thanks. I have breastfed 4 kids for a total of about 14 years. I have breastfed through two pregnancies, I have tandem fed toddlers. What in the world could possibly be in that bloody leaflet for me? And they had a TV on with a breastfeeding film playing. Quite frankly, if I wasn't going to breastfeed already, it all would have turned me completely off the idea!
I found the centre, which is based at a bloody primary school. I saw the midwife, who was quite nice, but made me bring my pee back home to dispose of myself because they were out of clinical waste bags. She reassured me, I heard the baby's hearbeat, and I actually felt better for about 5 minutes. I asked when the home birth kit would be delivered to be told that they don't do that anymore, but some Entenox could be delivered tomorrow. The midwives just bring the kit when I go into labour. Fine, and then I dutifully made an appointment to go back in a fortnight, in spite of resenting having to go there.
Then I tried to leave. AS I mentioned before, the Sure Start Centre is part of a school, and school was letting out. They put up barriers to stop cars going in. Except I was already in. So I couldn't get out. I tried asking the lollipop man, who looked at me like an idiot. He apparently was incapable of saying, "I don't know." Another parent told me to go to the school office, so I left the car, and walked up in the rain. The receptionist said, "Well, there is a sign in the Sure Start centre" I am sure there is luv, but there are about 3500 signs up in the Sure Start Centre, most of them telling me how I should be parenting my children. I don't suppose anybody thought to put a sign up on the actual drive. Or to not move bloody antenatal services to a fucking school site in the first place!!!!!!
Anyway, was told the caretaker would be along, and he was. I just sat there with my engine running, listening to loud music for 10 minutes, and then I was set free. If they think I am ever, ever going back there, they are out of their minds. I may consider giving them a ring when I go into labour. But I am furious.
I am furious with the so called 'care' that I have received. I am angry that things I have mentioned to them have not been put into my notes. I am angry that they go on about my weight, but with the exception of my booking in appointment, not a single person has weighed me. I am angry that nobody has spent any time with me, finding out what I want. Nobody has mentioned a birth plan. And only two midwives of the the dozen or so I have met have acted positively about my desire to have a home birth. Remy, and Sue Moss. Both of whom I have met once. And Remy has retired, so I won't be getting her.
It has been explained to me that you see a different midwife every time in order to make sure that you will at least have met all of the midwives on the team. this is so when you go into labour you will have at least met them. Even if only for 10 minutes. What a crap idea. It used to be that they had coffee mornings for expectant mothers to go along and meet them all, and you developed a relationship with one or two midwives that you say regularly for your antenatal care, even if they weren't on duty when you went into labour.
But even this reasoning is spurious, because there are apparently 3 teams operating in South Manchester, and they are on duty on a rotating basis. So you have a 60% chance of getting somebody you have never met when you go into labour. It is all crap. And I don't really care to see any of them ever again.
Today, I feel angry and sad and really let down. They are supposed to be taking care of me, and they aren't. What they are trying to do is get me to make their lives easier, or less complicated, while they are making mine miserable. So, what I really want to do is ignore them all, and just go about things on my own. I may calm down. I may not. But either way, I will have had crap care.
I had been a bit disappointed, and confused by it all, but today just tops it all off. I want nothing more to do with them at all.
A little bit of history. When I found out I was pregnant, I phoned my GP surgery to make an appointment with the midwife. I was told I had to see the GP. So I made an appointment to see the GP. She is very nice, but didn't do anything, didn't confirm pregnancy or anything like that. She referred me to either the hospital or the midwives, actually it is all a bit vague now.
I seem to remember getting a referral through the post, saying I could have an appointment in 67 days or something like that. I phoned up and was told I could make an appointment for a phone appointment. Which was only slightly ridiculous. But that is what I did. In the mean time, I think I saw a midwife at the GP surgery, who told me to go for my hospital appointments and go back to see them after 20 week scan. So I phoned the hospital again, and eventually got a booking in appointment. I had to go to Withington Community hospital for this. I resent going to hospitals, but went along. I have had to go back several times, and each time I get a little more angry.
I saw a great midwife, I think she was called Remy. Said I wanted a home birth, and she was fine with that, and my history, but did say I would have to see the consultant because my BMI is higher than they like for home births.
Went back for 20 week scan. Fine. Saw a doctor, not sure who she was, but I don't think it was the consultant, I think it was a locum. She was just a bit wet. Didn't really say anything of any importance, just the "We would like for you to be in hospital." Which I still don't get. I have a history of 5 births, no complications, all normal, and 3 of those have been at home. What is the big deal? So I happily ignored her.
Went on with the weird routines they have. Had bloods done at 16 weeks, which I have never had done before. And why is that no matter how many times I tell people they will end up sending me to the phlebotomist, because I have bad veins, they always feel a need to stick me with a needle first. As if they know my veins better than me. I have had holes made in every inch of my arms, wrists and back of hands this pregnancy.
Anyway, continued to see midwives at the GP surgery, and had a 28 week scan as well. All of this much more than I have ever had before. Tried to get out of making an appointment for 36 week scan, but they gave me one anyway.
So I went along last week for my 36 week scan, and sonographer was cross because they hadn't booked me in with her, and she didn't want to do me. In the end she did. She spent all of about 60 seconds taking measurements and then sent me back over the hall to the antenatal clinic. I had no idea what was going on, but they called me in to see a doctor, who proceeded to tell me why I should go into hospital. All things I have heard before, over 40, fat, grand multiparity, anaemia, and now they could add to the list, a big baby. I listened to him, pointed out that I had had no support. That I wasn't happy. That I wanted more information about all of these things...statistics, research papers, academic journals discussing these so-called risks. He didn't have them, and went to get his registrar.
Now, I have to admit that the registrar was a nice guy. Adi or somthing was his name. He spent ages with me, and was very up front about their need to cover their backs. But still, I don't have any statistics, or anything concrete to justify changing my mind from wanting a home birth. I said I would think about it, and talk to the midwife, at my appointment 2 days later.
So 2 days later, I am 36 weeks, and see a midwife who I have at least met once before. She isn't all that helpful. Apparently, it isn't a case of them 'wanting' to support me. It is a case of them 'having' to support me. She suggested that I write a letter waiving blame should anything go wrong. I actually said, "I want some support" but I guess that wasn't forthcoming. All that happened was she told me when I could go have a look at the birthing suite, and that she would leave a message for the midwife team leader to talk about my concerns. Apparently she is still away on holiday.
Oh, and to top that off, at that appointment I was told that I would no longer be able to have antenatal care there at the surgery, effective immediately, and would have to go one of the bloody Sure start centres. I was given a leaflet with phone numbers and told to make an appointment.
Well, I didn't. It was only a week ago.
So that leads us up to today. Which has just been shit. For the past couple of days I have noticed that I have suddenly started swelling. Which is fine, and normal. Except that I have never really experienced it before. So I thought I would leave it a day or two. This morning I woke up about 3 or 4 am, and my feet were really, really puffy. I was going to the clinic to have my dressing changed, and while I was there, I asked the nurse to take my blood pressure. It was 159 over 97. But it was on one of the machine ones that are not very reliable.
But it did mean that I thought I had a pretty good reason to phone the midwives. Especially since all the literature says that if you get swollen suddenly, to phone them. Well, it is a bit different if you actually try to phone. I phoned the number that was written down, which turned out to be wrong. There's a 2 not a 7. They gave me a different number. Which I didn't want either. I phoned the ANC Whythenshawe number, and spoke to somebody who transferred me to the Triage nurse. The Triage nurse said they were too full to see me there so I should phone one of the Sure Start centres and insist on being seen. She told me to rind Darley ave but didn't have a phone number. So I find a number online, which is actually their satelllite centre, and am given teh Darley ave number.
Finally get through, and am told they have no appointments. I explain the situation, and she tries to give me the number for the community midwives, who I have already phoned, as it was them that transferred me to the Triage. At this point, I am in tears. I cannot believe how they really don't give a shit about me or my baby, but all of their advice is based on not wanting to be sued. Actually phone them up with a concern, and they couldn't care less.
The receptionist says if she tries to squeeze me in, they will be cross. But she goes away, saying she will phone back before 12. She does. And apparently somebody has cancelled an appointment, and I can have it.
It was an experience. Firstly, I resent having to go somewhere new at 37 weeks. Secondly, I resent having to go someplace that is a 10 minute drive away, when I am used to going to my GP surgery, which is a 10 minute walk away (and that is a slow 36 week pregnant walk!)
Thirdly, I really resent that patronizing way they treat you in places like that. Some woman came up and offered me a breastfeeding leaflet. I just said no thanks. I have breastfed 4 kids for a total of about 14 years. I have breastfed through two pregnancies, I have tandem fed toddlers. What in the world could possibly be in that bloody leaflet for me? And they had a TV on with a breastfeeding film playing. Quite frankly, if I wasn't going to breastfeed already, it all would have turned me completely off the idea!
I found the centre, which is based at a bloody primary school. I saw the midwife, who was quite nice, but made me bring my pee back home to dispose of myself because they were out of clinical waste bags. She reassured me, I heard the baby's hearbeat, and I actually felt better for about 5 minutes. I asked when the home birth kit would be delivered to be told that they don't do that anymore, but some Entenox could be delivered tomorrow. The midwives just bring the kit when I go into labour. Fine, and then I dutifully made an appointment to go back in a fortnight, in spite of resenting having to go there.
Then I tried to leave. AS I mentioned before, the Sure Start Centre is part of a school, and school was letting out. They put up barriers to stop cars going in. Except I was already in. So I couldn't get out. I tried asking the lollipop man, who looked at me like an idiot. He apparently was incapable of saying, "I don't know." Another parent told me to go to the school office, so I left the car, and walked up in the rain. The receptionist said, "Well, there is a sign in the Sure Start centre" I am sure there is luv, but there are about 3500 signs up in the Sure Start Centre, most of them telling me how I should be parenting my children. I don't suppose anybody thought to put a sign up on the actual drive. Or to not move bloody antenatal services to a fucking school site in the first place!!!!!!
Anyway, was told the caretaker would be along, and he was. I just sat there with my engine running, listening to loud music for 10 minutes, and then I was set free. If they think I am ever, ever going back there, they are out of their minds. I may consider giving them a ring when I go into labour. But I am furious.
I am furious with the so called 'care' that I have received. I am angry that things I have mentioned to them have not been put into my notes. I am angry that they go on about my weight, but with the exception of my booking in appointment, not a single person has weighed me. I am angry that nobody has spent any time with me, finding out what I want. Nobody has mentioned a birth plan. And only two midwives of the the dozen or so I have met have acted positively about my desire to have a home birth. Remy, and Sue Moss. Both of whom I have met once. And Remy has retired, so I won't be getting her.
It has been explained to me that you see a different midwife every time in order to make sure that you will at least have met all of the midwives on the team. this is so when you go into labour you will have at least met them. Even if only for 10 minutes. What a crap idea. It used to be that they had coffee mornings for expectant mothers to go along and meet them all, and you developed a relationship with one or two midwives that you say regularly for your antenatal care, even if they weren't on duty when you went into labour.
But even this reasoning is spurious, because there are apparently 3 teams operating in South Manchester, and they are on duty on a rotating basis. So you have a 60% chance of getting somebody you have never met when you go into labour. It is all crap. And I don't really care to see any of them ever again.
Today, I feel angry and sad and really let down. They are supposed to be taking care of me, and they aren't. What they are trying to do is get me to make their lives easier, or less complicated, while they are making mine miserable. So, what I really want to do is ignore them all, and just go about things on my own. I may calm down. I may not. But either way, I will have had crap care.
Sunday, 27 September 2009
Nests and whatnot
Just in case you are wondering, it is possible to experience empty nest syndrome, while you are 36+ weeks pregnant. S headed off to university yesterday, very excited, and with a huge smile on her face. :-)) I am glad she is so looking forward to it. It makes me remember how exciting it all was for me, and I am genuinely happy to see her looking forward to this new stage in her life.
Still, M and I sat and cried for a bit. And even though I don't FEEL sad about it, I do keep crying a bit. I imagine the hormones are playing a bit part in this, but all the little things that make me think of S, like shopping at Unicorn, frying up some potatoes and onions, Marmite on bagels, just bring tears to my eyes. Funny how all of those things are food. :-) Then again, there is always the West Wing DVDs as well. The last night she was home, neither of us could sleep. We were up at 4am watching a couple of episodes of West Wing series 4. Game on!
M wants to get started straight away on taking over S's old bedroom, which looks very forlorn and sad. Apparently we need pink paint...and lots of dusters!
I also have a few things I still want to do before the baby comes. Must finish study, tidy living room and keep kids toys out of it, and sew together a couple of baby jumpers. I would like to do the washing of the baby clothes this week as well. I have ordered some nappies from The Nappy Lady, and look forward to getting them, and seeing if I remember how to fold nappies! Must use some teddies to practise on.
Still, M and I sat and cried for a bit. And even though I don't FEEL sad about it, I do keep crying a bit. I imagine the hormones are playing a bit part in this, but all the little things that make me think of S, like shopping at Unicorn, frying up some potatoes and onions, Marmite on bagels, just bring tears to my eyes. Funny how all of those things are food. :-) Then again, there is always the West Wing DVDs as well. The last night she was home, neither of us could sleep. We were up at 4am watching a couple of episodes of West Wing series 4. Game on!
M wants to get started straight away on taking over S's old bedroom, which looks very forlorn and sad. Apparently we need pink paint...and lots of dusters!
I also have a few things I still want to do before the baby comes. Must finish study, tidy living room and keep kids toys out of it, and sew together a couple of baby jumpers. I would like to do the washing of the baby clothes this week as well. I have ordered some nappies from The Nappy Lady, and look forward to getting them, and seeing if I remember how to fold nappies! Must use some teddies to practise on.
Wednesday, 23 September 2009
So not funny...
Boil number one has healed, but number two was incised on Monday, after 7 hour wait in hospital. I am getting a bit fed up with this, and just hope it is all healed before I go into labour. I am also getting pressure to go into hospital to have this baby, which is shaking my confidence a bit. I have had 3 home births, no problems, why do they have to start now? Will talk to midwife tomorrow.
In the meantime, have finished knitting bits of a baby cardigan with Sidar denim dk. I don't really like that yarn as it splits a lot, but I think it will look nice. It is size 1-2 years as we have plenty of little stuff. I just need to sew it up now, and do the collar etc, which will take a while.
I am also working on a pair of leg warmers for S to take to uni. She heads off on Saturday. It doesn't look like I am going to be able to take her, which makes me soooooo sad, I just have to not think about it. I can't believe she is taking this huge step, and I am going to be sitting here, trying not to bump my wound, be sick, get worn out. :-( I want to see her flat, take her shopping, and say goodbye properly. Oh well. I will just have to send a pair of leg warmers instead.
In the meantime, have finished knitting bits of a baby cardigan with Sidar denim dk. I don't really like that yarn as it splits a lot, but I think it will look nice. It is size 1-2 years as we have plenty of little stuff. I just need to sew it up now, and do the collar etc, which will take a while.
I am also working on a pair of leg warmers for S to take to uni. She heads off on Saturday. It doesn't look like I am going to be able to take her, which makes me soooooo sad, I just have to not think about it. I can't believe she is taking this huge step, and I am going to be sitting here, trying not to bump my wound, be sick, get worn out. :-( I want to see her flat, take her shopping, and say goodbye properly. Oh well. I will just have to send a pair of leg warmers instead.
Wednesday, 9 September 2009
I'm on a roll!
I must be on a roll because I finished another hat tonight. And she likes this one better.
And here is what the study looks like so far...
I hope that this time, organising it will actually pay off. I think the problem is that actually 4 of the 6 people who live in this family are slobs, and yes, I am including myself in that 4. :-) But if I am gonna try, I am gonna make sure everybody else tries as well!
And here is what the study looks like so far...
I hope that this time, organising it will actually pay off. I think the problem is that actually 4 of the 6 people who live in this family are slobs, and yes, I am including myself in that 4. :-) But if I am gonna try, I am gonna make sure everybody else tries as well!
Woo Hoo! Progress!
Have actually gotten some things done! Finished S's hat which I wanted to do before she heads off for university. The wool is sooo lovely. It is from Babylonglegs and I got it at the Rav Day in Coventry. 
Also, Al and I have been working on sorting out the house a bit before the baby comes. I am nesting, so for me this is great. However, it is supposed to be his holiday, so we should make sure he enjoys himself at some point along the way. We've started with the study, formerly the junk room with the computer in. (Although the computer could be said to be junk as well.) I just want things to be a bit more organized so the older kids can actually access things, and use all of the stuff that we have in the house when the baby gets here. As it is now, we have to rearrange 5 things every time we decide we want to do something. And most of our stuff doesn't have a place. So we are getting rid of some of it.
Anyway, I am knackered after spending the day sorting in the study, and having walked up to the clinic to get my dressing changes. Walking is actually a bit painful these days as the baby is lying awkwardly, but hey, all my kids are awkward, so we may as well start as we mean to carry on. :-)
Also, Al and I have been working on sorting out the house a bit before the baby comes. I am nesting, so for me this is great. However, it is supposed to be his holiday, so we should make sure he enjoys himself at some point along the way. We've started with the study, formerly the junk room with the computer in. (Although the computer could be said to be junk as well.) I just want things to be a bit more organized so the older kids can actually access things, and use all of the stuff that we have in the house when the baby gets here. As it is now, we have to rearrange 5 things every time we decide we want to do something. And most of our stuff doesn't have a place. So we are getting rid of some of it.
Anyway, I am knackered after spending the day sorting in the study, and having walked up to the clinic to get my dressing changes. Walking is actually a bit painful these days as the baby is lying awkwardly, but hey, all my kids are awkward, so we may as well start as we mean to carry on. :-)
Friday, 4 September 2009
Gross!
Ok, so the district nurse came yesterday to clean my wound and change the dressing, and it hurt me so much that she couldn't do it. I sobbed, she was lovely. I was told to rinse it out today, and go to the clinic, with a plain dressing on it. Which means that I saw what it looks like.
I had rather thought that lancing a boil meant putting a couple of slices in it so stuff could seep out. It seems that rather than being sliced, I have had a hole cut out of my ass. It is about 3 cm wide, 1 cm tall and a couple of cms deep. And sore. But according to the lovely nurse, it isn't that bad. I just have to keep dressings on it for 2-3 weeks.
Blech.
I had rather thought that lancing a boil meant putting a couple of slices in it so stuff could seep out. It seems that rather than being sliced, I have had a hole cut out of my ass. It is about 3 cm wide, 1 cm tall and a couple of cms deep. And sore. But according to the lovely nurse, it isn't that bad. I just have to keep dressings on it for 2-3 weeks.
Blech.
Thursday, 3 September 2009
knitting and sitting
I am not knitting anything at the moment because I can't sit down. I have had a boil on my bottom, (comical, yet oh so painful) for some weeks now and finally went to the hospital to have it lanced yesterday. Since I cannot knit lying down, I have been reading.
The Time Traveler's Wife (Audrey Niffennegger)
The Book Thief (Markus Zusack)
Gabriel's Gift (Hanif Kureshi)
Wish you were Here (Mike Gayle)
The Distant Land of my Father (Bo Caldwell)
I believe there was a Bill Bryson in there, and Orson Scott Card, and some Jane Austen, all being reread.
So at least my brain is working, even if my bum isn't. :-)
The Time Traveler's Wife (Audrey Niffennegger)
The Book Thief (Markus Zusack)
Gabriel's Gift (Hanif Kureshi)
Wish you were Here (Mike Gayle)
The Distant Land of my Father (Bo Caldwell)
I believe there was a Bill Bryson in there, and Orson Scott Card, and some Jane Austen, all being reread.
So at least my brain is working, even if my bum isn't. :-)
Thursday, 27 August 2009
Poop!
I have just been looking at Ravelry, and loads of other people's blogs, and now I feel crap that I am having such a hard time finishing anything, or doing much of anything. I STILL haven't sewn the Debbie Bliss baby cashmerino hoody from a couple of months ago. And I am STILL working on Al's socks that were meant to be my Feb Violet Green KAL. Well, actually, I am not working on them, which is the problem.
What I am doing, is reading loads of pattern books from the library, and making a list of things I want to knit, without actually doing much knitting. I am still trying to work on S's hat, which I had to start over on slightly larger needles as it was very small. I hate trying to convert American patterns. And I will probably have to start it over again. But every other time I have tried to make S and hat, it has been too big!
And now, I get to choose between heartburn if I do eat, and throwing up if I don't. If I had the money, I would buy this to cheer me up! But then, I would probably not be able to actually make anything with it. I have loads of my lovely Lorna's Laces sock club stuff I could do, but I want to make things for Baby, and/or S, as one of them is leaving to go out in the world, and the other will be introducing herself to us in about 8 weeks.
In the mean time, I just have to try to get through today!
What I am doing, is reading loads of pattern books from the library, and making a list of things I want to knit, without actually doing much knitting. I am still trying to work on S's hat, which I had to start over on slightly larger needles as it was very small. I hate trying to convert American patterns. And I will probably have to start it over again. But every other time I have tried to make S and hat, it has been too big!
And now, I get to choose between heartburn if I do eat, and throwing up if I don't. If I had the money, I would buy this to cheer me up! But then, I would probably not be able to actually make anything with it. I have loads of my lovely Lorna's Laces sock club stuff I could do, but I want to make things for Baby, and/or S, as one of them is leaving to go out in the world, and the other will be introducing herself to us in about 8 weeks.
In the mean time, I just have to try to get through today!
Thursday, 20 August 2009
Antenatal yoga
A funny thing happened on the way to yoga...
Not really an amusing joke opening is it? I 31 weeks now, have missed Pilates for the past 5 or 6 weeks because of travelling around staying with people, camping, and being too tired. So I thought I would try the pregnancy yoga class that happens downstairs at the centre where I do Pilates upstairs. It is, ummmm, interesting.
It is nice becasue the instructor tries to help us form pregnancy relationships. Although I don't really need that. I have my support network, they just all have teenagers...like me. :-) So at the beginning of class we all go around, introduce ourselves, with our name, how many weeks pregnant we are, and which baby we are having. So of course, everybody else in the room is having their first or second. Imagine the reaction when I say I am having my 5th! Slight stunned silence, slight chuckle to release the tension. Ah well. Nobody will remember my name, but they will remember that!
Not really an amusing joke opening is it? I 31 weeks now, have missed Pilates for the past 5 or 6 weeks because of travelling around staying with people, camping, and being too tired. So I thought I would try the pregnancy yoga class that happens downstairs at the centre where I do Pilates upstairs. It is, ummmm, interesting.
It is nice becasue the instructor tries to help us form pregnancy relationships. Although I don't really need that. I have my support network, they just all have teenagers...like me. :-) So at the beginning of class we all go around, introduce ourselves, with our name, how many weeks pregnant we are, and which baby we are having. So of course, everybody else in the room is having their first or second. Imagine the reaction when I say I am having my 5th! Slight stunned silence, slight chuckle to release the tension. Ah well. Nobody will remember my name, but they will remember that!
Saturday, 8 August 2009
Complaints and motivation
Well, all my family hear these days is me complaining about being pregnant. I feel huge, and itchy, and breathless, and lethargic and hungry all the time. They are taking good care of me though. I seem to have one day where I am alright, and gets loads done, and the the next two days are spent recovering.
Thursday, I had a cooking day. Made aubergine and tahini pate, and date and orange slices, and chocolate brownies. And then I started on a nice lamb dinner, which S and Al had to finish. Then I spent all day yesterday on the sofa, sleeping and knitting. Even the knitting wore me out :-(
I am trying to make a shrug for M from the yarn that she dyed ages ago. Just can't seem to get a decent pattern that goes with the yarn and with my ability. Will keep trying. Eventually, she will have warm arms. :-)
Must go eat something, and then complain about something...
Thursday, I had a cooking day. Made aubergine and tahini pate, and date and orange slices, and chocolate brownies. And then I started on a nice lamb dinner, which S and Al had to finish. Then I spent all day yesterday on the sofa, sleeping and knitting. Even the knitting wore me out :-(
I am trying to make a shrug for M from the yarn that she dyed ages ago. Just can't seem to get a decent pattern that goes with the yarn and with my ability. Will keep trying. Eventually, she will have warm arms. :-)
Must go eat something, and then complain about something...
Thursday, 30 July 2009
Summer time
It is July, and we are having a thunder storm, or so it seems. Lots of rain and lightening. Today is R's birthday. She is 15. We went camping in Anglesey last week and she wants to go back for her 16th birthday, provided all her friends come too. Camping was pretty nice. Bit of tension, bit of hormonal moodiness, both on my part, but you can't blame the wind on me. :-) In the end, it was overall a nice holiday, if a bit hard work. Never going camping pregnant again!
The bathroom is finished. I just have to touch up the paint work, do the wood work and get some pretty things on the walls. I am determined to keep it clean. My new job...cleaning the bathroom once a week. Seems like a normal enough thing, but when so much of your house is crap and worn out, and you can't tell the difference between clean and dirty anyway, standards tend to slip. So now, we have two nice rooms in the house - the loft conversion (which would be nice if it wasn't covered in my yarn, scrap, wool, clothes, books, etc.) and the bathroom.
Can't seem to get motivated to finish anything knitted. I have started a few more things, but then just sit around looking for something else to start. I only managed to do a couple of crocheted tops for M this month. You can see them on my Ravelry page. But other than that, can't seem to find any motivation for finishing anything. I guess I have pregnancy cabbage brain, and can't really focus. But I have been getting out lots of knitting books from the library, and getting lots of ideas. So some part of my brain is still working a bit. :-)
Also, the skin rash is back. Polymorphic Eruption of Pregnancy, (or Puppp). I am taking another remedy from the homoeopath and hoping it works again. Last time it was much better, and I didn't need to take the steroids. Am going to see the midwives today, have yet more blood ripped from my veins, so they can tell me how anaemic I am. I am supposed to be having midwife led care, but certainly doesn't feel like it so far. I have no relationship with any of the midwives, and haven't seen one of them twice yet. I could do with some support along those lines, so will see what happens today. I sort of need to talk baby stuff, and have somebody I trust to talk to about worries, and excitements, even if I have done this a few times before. I am beginning to think I would rather be living in a teepee, with an old witchy woman taking care of me, and the kids out playing in the fields. Instead, I am in the city, with kids who are fed up with each other because of the building work and having to put with their lethargic complaining mother, and crap weather.
I think that buying some nice organic cotton to knit with would put me in a better mood. :-)
The bathroom is finished. I just have to touch up the paint work, do the wood work and get some pretty things on the walls. I am determined to keep it clean. My new job...cleaning the bathroom once a week. Seems like a normal enough thing, but when so much of your house is crap and worn out, and you can't tell the difference between clean and dirty anyway, standards tend to slip. So now, we have two nice rooms in the house - the loft conversion (which would be nice if it wasn't covered in my yarn, scrap, wool, clothes, books, etc.) and the bathroom.
Can't seem to get motivated to finish anything knitted. I have started a few more things, but then just sit around looking for something else to start. I only managed to do a couple of crocheted tops for M this month. You can see them on my Ravelry page. But other than that, can't seem to find any motivation for finishing anything. I guess I have pregnancy cabbage brain, and can't really focus. But I have been getting out lots of knitting books from the library, and getting lots of ideas. So some part of my brain is still working a bit. :-)
Also, the skin rash is back. Polymorphic Eruption of Pregnancy, (or Puppp). I am taking another remedy from the homoeopath and hoping it works again. Last time it was much better, and I didn't need to take the steroids. Am going to see the midwives today, have yet more blood ripped from my veins, so they can tell me how anaemic I am. I am supposed to be having midwife led care, but certainly doesn't feel like it so far. I have no relationship with any of the midwives, and haven't seen one of them twice yet. I could do with some support along those lines, so will see what happens today. I sort of need to talk baby stuff, and have somebody I trust to talk to about worries, and excitements, even if I have done this a few times before. I am beginning to think I would rather be living in a teepee, with an old witchy woman taking care of me, and the kids out playing in the fields. Instead, I am in the city, with kids who are fed up with each other because of the building work and having to put with their lethargic complaining mother, and crap weather.
I think that buying some nice organic cotton to knit with would put me in a better mood. :-)
Wednesday, 15 July 2009
Just for Martine!
So this was the bathroom a couple of weeks ago.
These are the old rotten floor joists. They had to go up into the bathroom from the kitchen, so this used to be the kitchen ceiling.
Here is Al painting the bathroom after some of the work has been done. He was up until 1 am last night getting it ready for the builders to come back today and attach the basin and tile the splash back, etc.
This is going to be our mirrored cabinet. Currently in the hall.
And here is what it looks like so far. Toilet was plumbed in yesterday. And the shower tiling done, which looks really nice.
It is very white and bright, so you can't really see it in the photos. The two facing walls are Victorian Mint, and very light greyish green, and hopefully will look good with the new rubber flooring, which is Sage green.
But the kitchen still looks like this.
Although you can see our new floor joists here, along with the new bathroom floorboards.
And the new cooker, which looks like the only shiny thing in the old crap kitchen. We shall have this old crap kitchen for a few more years, so I may be sitting on the new toilet drinking my cups of tea for a while to make me feel better. With the lid down, of course.
Martine will really enjoy cleaning the new cooker. Cleaning the old one was soooo boring.
These are the old rotten floor joists. They had to go up into the bathroom from the kitchen, so this used to be the kitchen ceiling.
Here is Al painting the bathroom after some of the work has been done. He was up until 1 am last night getting it ready for the builders to come back today and attach the basin and tile the splash back, etc.
This is going to be our mirrored cabinet. Currently in the hall.
And here is what it looks like so far. Toilet was plumbed in yesterday. And the shower tiling done, which looks really nice.
It is very white and bright, so you can't really see it in the photos. The two facing walls are Victorian Mint, and very light greyish green, and hopefully will look good with the new rubber flooring, which is Sage green.
But the kitchen still looks like this.
Although you can see our new floor joists here, along with the new bathroom floorboards.
And the new cooker, which looks like the only shiny thing in the old crap kitchen. We shall have this old crap kitchen for a few more years, so I may be sitting on the new toilet drinking my cups of tea for a while to make me feel better. With the lid down, of course.
Martine will really enjoy cleaning the new cooker. Cleaning the old one was soooo boring.
Tuesday, 14 July 2009
Home Ed Review
It's funny how this blog, in spite of it being about my life, actually is often completely separate from my life. In spite of all of the yarn and wool and knitting and reading of books, I am a rather political person.
The big thing that has been happening lately is the Badman Review of Home Education which was published in June. Home education is the most important thing in our family. It is our choice. It is the way we live our lives. It is our family. And the government wants to police us for our choice. They want access to our home and our children, not because there is any 'cause for concern' - but because I don't send my kids to school.
Our whole way of life is under threat.
I am talking to my MP, along with other home edders locally, and hoping that Labour is ousted before they do away with more of our civil liberties. I cannot believe how a government that appears so socially liberal, can be so politically facsist.
So here are my problems with the Review, taken from a letter to my MP. You will have to know what the recommendations in order to make sense of the last bit. But you can always read those here - and get as angry as me.
"
(b) to any special educational needs he may have,
either by regular attendance at school or otherwise.”
Statements of SEN relate to provision by an institution and it should not be implied that the statement will be relevant to elective home education. The parents of children with SEN should not be subjected to any procedures which go beyond having to provide an education in accordance with section 7 as outlined above.
The big thing that has been happening lately is the Badman Review of Home Education which was published in June. Home education is the most important thing in our family. It is our choice. It is the way we live our lives. It is our family. And the government wants to police us for our choice. They want access to our home and our children, not because there is any 'cause for concern' - but because I don't send my kids to school.
Our whole way of life is under threat.
I am talking to my MP, along with other home edders locally, and hoping that Labour is ousted before they do away with more of our civil liberties. I cannot believe how a government that appears so socially liberal, can be so politically facsist.
So here are my problems with the Review, taken from a letter to my MP. You will have to know what the recommendations in order to make sense of the last bit. But you can always read those here - and get as angry as me.
"
Statutory Duty and Background
From a legislative point of view, there are currently no monitoring duties placed on local authorities concerning home educators. The law clearly states that it is a parent's duty to ensure that their children are educated. Section 7 of the 1996 Education Act states that;
“The parent of every child of compulsory school age shall cause him to receive efficient full-time education suitable—
(a) to his age, ability and aptitude, and (b) to any special educational needs he may have,
either by regular attendance at school or otherwise.”
Section 437(1) of the same act states that LAs have a duty to act “If it appears to a local education authority that a child of compulsory school age in their area is not receiving suitable education, either by regular attendance at school or otherwise,...”
Case law clarifies the situation regarding suitability of education and contact between the authority and parents, including LA enquiries to parents about the provision of education.
There are currently Elective Home Education Guidelines for Local Authorities which explain all of this and set out good practice in dealing with home educators.
http://www.dcsf.gov.uk/localauthorities/_documents/content/7373-DCSF-Elective%20Home%20Education.pdf
One of the main problems is that over the past decade there have been more and more responsibilities placed on LAs with regard to safeguarding. LAs are inspected by Ofsted on the monitoring arrangements they make for home educators, in spite of there being no legal duty to monitor. Also, the Education Act 2002 states that “A local education authority shall make arrangements for ensuring that the functions conferred on them in their capacity as a local education authority are exercised with a view to safeguarding and promoting the welfare of children.” [s.175(1)]. Some LAs take this to mean to that they must have access to our children in order to 'safeguard' them. We as parents, wish to protect our children from them.
Purpose of the Review of Home Education
The purpose of the review was predominantly to discover if there were safeguarding concerns with regard to home educated children. According to http://www.everychildmatters.gov.uk/ete/homeeducation/
“The Government has commissioned an independent review of home education to assess whether the current system of supporting and monitoring home education is the right one.” As stated above, there is no duty to monitor and a visit to any of a number of LA websites will illustrate that there are no funds available to offer home educators any amount of support. There is no consistency between LAs.
At the time the Review was announced in the press, the focus was on child abuse and forced marriage. The NSPCC was interviewed linking home educators with well publicized cases of abuse, such as that of Eunice Spry, for which they have had to issue an apology.
Although the questionnaires for individuals and LAs were vastly different, the questions asked of parents concerned mostly the 5 outcomes of Every Child Matters and a specific question relating abuse, “6 Some people have expressed concern that home education could be used as a cover for child abuse, forced marriage, domestic servitude or other forms of child neglect. What do you think Government should do to ensure this does not happen?”
Firstly, the 5 outcomes of Every Child Matters are supposed to relate to services provided by statutory bodies. They are not legally binding on parents, as parents are believed to have the welfare of their children in mind, unless proven otherwise. Secondly, the formation of the final question above assumes that action must be taken to ensure something does not happen, when there is no evidence that it happens. If the purpose of the Review was to discover if there is any evidence of abuse, why does the question assume that the answer is yes?
Validity of the Review
There are several reasons I believe the review to be invalid (see below). The overall tone of the document is prejudicial and I do not think that the Review's author, Mr Graham Badman is capable of objectivity.
1) No evidence was found that home education is used as a cover for abuse, forced marriage, or domestic servitude and yet safeguarding concerns are still being used to press for statutory changes. In the review Mr Badman states that 'the number of children known to children’s social care in some local authorities is disproportionately high relative to the size of their home educating population.' (8.12)
Firstly, the review finds that the number of children known to be home educated is roughly 20,000, although there are potentially up to 80,000 currently being educated otherwise than at school but who are not known to their LAs (6.1). How can he make a statement about the proportionality of the home educated population known to social care when he does not know what the home educated population is?
Secondly, there is no conclusion to be made about correlation between home education and children known to social care. Several LAs will consider home education itself a trigger for safeguarding concerns and will report families to SS who will not allow them to interview their children, when there is no evidence of child protection issues. There will be several children known to social care departments because of their special needs, and/or other services they or their family members are using. Unfortunately, in the Review, parents were not able to answer any questions on their experiences of their LA.
2)Mr Badman asks the following questions in section 8.2.
“■■ First, if there is abuse of children within the home education community, is it
disproportionally high, relative to the general population?
■■ Secondly where abuse does exist, would a change of regulation with regard to elective
home education have either prevented or ameliorated such abuse?”
The questions are spurious. The first appears to ask if there is abuse of children within the home educating community, but in fact assumes that there is and leaves you considering whether or not home educators abuse more than the general population. The second assumes that the answer to the first is 'Yes'.
In attempting to address these questions, he later states, “despite the small number of
serious case reviews where home education was a feature, the consideration of these reviews
and the data outlined above, suggests that those engaged in the support and monitoring of home education should be alert to the potential additional risk to children.” (8.12) In other words, he sees home education as an 'additional risk to children.'
With questions and assumptions as prejudicial as this, how can there be any claim that this review is objective?
3) Mr Badman uses statements throughout the review to punctuate his points. Almost all of these are from responses made by organisations all saying that LAs should have access to our children and homes in order that they may satisfy themselves that our children are safe. I believe that these statements are sometimes used out of context in order to further his own beliefs.
For example, the Church of England Education division is quoted in the Review as saying
“that children and young people not in formal education are missing the benefits and
challenges of learning in community with their peers. Children who do not go to school
may not experience the social and cultural diversity encountered there; they will not learn
how to deal with the rough and tumble of everyday life; they may never meet people with
different faith and value systems. All such encounters, even the difficult or painful ones are
enriching. We are concerned not only with the five Every Child Matters outcomes, but also
with the spiritual well-being of all children and young people. Spiritual well-being arises not
only from being cared for in a loving family and/or faith community, but also in encounters
with people of different opinions and backgrounds; in learning to listen to a variety of
opinions; to encounter diversity and the riches and life-enhancement it can bring. Spiritual
well-being depends on living and taking a full part in community life. Children and young
people in schools learn about and from the five major religions. This may be a difficult
part of the curriculum for home educators to provide, yet it is vital for the Government’s
community cohesion agenda that all children learn in a balanced way about the variety
of religious values and practices, and to be encouraged to question their own beliefs and
practices.” (4.8)
This is a selective quote, containing paragraphs 7-9 of the whole of the C of E's response. The final paragraph of their full statement asserts that 'We have seen no evidence to show that the majority of home educated children do not achieve the five Every Child Matters outcomes, and are therefore not convinced of the need to change the current system of monitoring the standard of home education. Where there are particular concerns about the children in a home-educating [sic] this should be a matter for Children's Services.'
Furthermore, paragraph 5 of their response also says “Prevention of abuse under the cover of home education seems to be the main reason for this review, and in making it so, has the effect of tarnishing the reputation of the many parents who choose to home educate their children from the best of motives.”
Mr Badman has deceitfully and selectively chosen from the whole of the response in order to further his own argument.
4) The parental questionnaire consisted of 6 questions, almost all of which considered the 5 outcomes, and suggested that home ed could be used as a cover for abuse. There were no questions asking about the relationship that families had with local authorities. There are several LAs which are hostile to elective home education (EHE), refer regularly to Social Services, make statements that they believe children are better off in school, require families to provide evidence in ways that are outside the law, insist on entering the home under threats of referral to SS, and generally bully families.
The questionnaire for LAs consisted of 60 detailed questions. This is more than a slight discrepancy and indeed illustrates the importance of LA responses over parental ones. (Annexes C and D of the review list the questions that were asked of parents and LAs.)
5) Badman has chosen to ignore an increasing amount of research.
He states that “I am not convinced by the existing research studies on the outcomes for home educated children both in this country and elsewhere. Although some (but not all) studies have found that home educated children outperform schooled children on a range of indicators, the results may be attributable to parental characteristics (e.g. better educated parents with higher incomes). Some of the studies were also based on small samples and therefore the ability to generalise is limited. Some were based on self selecting, and therefore biased, samples. The diverse characteristics of home educated children make it difficult to generalise about their academic performance.” (10.2)
This research predominantly shows home educated children to have benefited from their experiences. The research of Alan Thomas and Paula Rothermel is particularly useful but has been discounted here. Considering that this review would not withstand academic peer review, it is laughable that Mr Badman makes that statement about research that has withstood such scrutiny.
6) No evidence was found highlighting safeguarding concerns, and yet Ed Balls and Baroness Morgan issued identical statements on the day the Review was published saying that they accepted the recommendations in full. A consultation was begun on that same day, which suggests that the review process was little more than a step towards fulfilling a predetermined agenda.
Problems with the Recommendations
Below are a few comments on some of the Recommendations put forth by the Review. Some numbers have been skipped as they relate to others already mentioned or discuss procedural aspects of potential legislative changes.
Recommendation 1
LAs already have a statutory duty to seek out children missing education (CME), which would bring all home educators to their attention. The bullet points in the first recommendation for a national compulsory registration scheme do not allow for the time families need to adjust to their new learning experiences, i.e. having plans in place within 8 weeks. Nor do they allow for the flexibility that is so much a part of education outside of school. The idea of 'planned outcomes' does not take into account the longer term goals of many home educators, i.e. to instil a love of learning and the confidence to achieve whatever one wants to achieve. It shows a complete lack of understanding of the child led learning process which many home educators follow. The suggestion that LA officers know anything about home education is laughable as home educators across the country are continually met with LA representatives who do not have any experience of or training in issues relating to home education. I would like to state here that I do believe that Manchester is taking positive steps towards working with home educating families and while I believe my previous point to be the case in many LAs, Manchester may be one of the exceptions.
Recommendation 2
The Rose Review is largely irrelevant since the National Curriculum is only compulsory for state schools. It does not apply to elective home educators, nor to private schools.
As for defining what constitutes educational provision as 'suitable' and 'efficient', case law (Harrison & Harrison v Stevenson) already states that a ‘suitable education’ as one which was such as:
1. to prepare the children for life in modern civilised society, and
to enable them to achieve their full potential.
Further case law states that “education is ‘suitable’ if it primarily equips a child for life within the community of which he is a member, rather than the way of life in the country as a whole, as long as it does not foreclose the child’s options in later years to adopt some other form of life if he wishes to do so.” [R v Secretary of State for Education and Science, ex parte Talmud Torah Machzikei Hadass School Trust (1985)]
Mr Badman suggests that there is a statutory change so that education is 'sufficiently defined to secure a broad, balanced, relevant and differentiated curriculum that would allow children and young people educated at home to have sufficient information to enable them to expand their talents and make choices about likely careers.'
It would seem that he wants a definition of suitability which already exists in case law. It is my opinion that this recommendation is redundant and could potentially lead to a too prescriptive definition of what constitutes education.
Recommendation 3
This is problematic because of the anecdotal evidence to suggest that LAs treat home educators differently based on their reasons for choosing to home ed. They define 'positive' and 'negative' reasons for the choice and treat those who have had problems in school, and withdrawn their child as a last resort, differently to those who have made a philosophical or lifestyle choice to educate otherwise than at school.
Recommendation 4
Several LAs are already doing this. Manchester has begun having meetings with home educators to work towards acceptable and positive policy which will allow us to build workable relationships. I believe that the government has not allowed enough time to pass since the issuance of the DCFS's Elective Home Education Guidelines for LAs previously mentioned to help improve matters.
Recommendation 7
This is the most serious of all of the recommendations and has huge civil liberties implications. LAs want access to our homes and our children, in order “to satisfy themselves that the child is safe and well.” In other words, this is a complete reversal of the concept of innocent until proven guilty. If you choose to educate otherwise than at school, an option which is equal in statute with schooled education, you must prove to the LA that you are not abusing your children.
In what other area of life does anybody have to prove themselves innocent of abusing their children where there exists no evidence or cause for concern? Simply not being admitted to the home is not a cause for concern. Many LAs act from a position of suspicion with regard to home educators.
Current case law has established that "an education authority should not, as a matter of policy, insist on inspection in the homes as the only method of satisfying themselves that children were receiving efficient full time education" {Judge Donaldson (Phillips v Brown, Divisional Court, [20 June 1980, unreported] }
Furthermore, "the Act of 1944 (replaced by the 1996 Education Act) does not provide for or contemplate an intrusion of a parent’s privacy by inspectors coming into the home and that it is quite wrong for a Local Authority to insist on such inspection." [Lord Parker of Waddington (REGINA v. SURREY QUARTER SESSIONS APPEALS COMMITTEE, ex parte TWEEDIE QUEENS BENCH DIVISION 61LGR 464 Lord Parker of Waddington C J, Widgery J, and John Stephenson J)]
A family's right to privacy cannot be cancelled, especially when the reason for such a cancellation is because they have made a perfectly legal choice regarding the education of their children.
Recommendation 8
This assumes right of access to the home.
Recommendation 9
Suitable training in issues relating to home education should be mandatory and many home educators have been asking for this for years. Manchester has recently undergone training offered by the Sauer Consultancy and is taking positive steps towards developing a working relationship with the home educating community.
Recommendation 10 and 11
Access to resources and exam centres would benefit home educators, but the access must not be conditional. It is worth noting that this would be the one thing that many home educators would like to see go forward, and that Ed Balls already seems to be distancing himself from this recommendation by stating in his response to Graham Badman that “this is a difficult and sensitive area” and there are “uncertainties over the number of home educated children and the demand for services.” In other words, they don't have the money to offer us anything beneficial to ourselves, only to impinge upon our rights.
Recommendation 12
Where I do not fully understand what is being offered here, it is worth questioning the involvement of BECTA as Graham Badman was announced its interim chair in Jan 2009, and has just been confirmed in this role by Jim Knight.
Recommendation 15
I accept that there has been anecdotal evidence of schools suggesting home education to parents as a way of getting rid of problem pupils. However, the information about the option of home education should be made available to all parents. It should also be recognized that there are parents whose children have severe problems within the school setting, which are addressed by a change of provision to elective home education.
Recommendations 18 and 19
That the choice to home educate be a trigger to conduct a review is prejudicial. As previously stated, current legislation states that “The parent of every child of compulsory school age shall cause him to receive efficient full-time education suitable—
to his age, ability and aptitude, and
to any special educational needs he may have,
Statements of SEN relate to provision by an institution and it should not be implied that the statement will be relevant to elective home education. The parents of children with SEN should not be subjected to any procedures which go beyond having to provide an education in accordance with section 7 as outlined above.
Recommendation 21
The problem with this is that there are several LAs which consider the choice to home educate to be a cause for concern. Since this annual report is being suggested in order to avoid the “current speculation with regard to the prevalence of child protection concerns amongst home educated children which may well be exaggerated”, it would seem to make sense that something like this occurred BEFORE any legislative changes based on safeguarding were undertaken. However, I would quantify that these reports be subject to academic review, as there is the potential for them to be based on spurious allegations by hostile LAs.
Recommendation 22
LA staff should be trained in issues relating to home education as a whole, not just safeguarding issues.
Recommendation 23 and 24
This is severely problematic as it would effectively remove a parent's responsibility to ensure that their children are educated. This would also be considered a human rights issue as the Universal Declaration of Human Rights states that "Parents have a prior right to choose the kind of education that shall be given to their children" (Article 26, para 3). To deny this right to some parents would be prejudicial.
Recommendation 25
The discussion of targets is confusing. It sounds as if they have to identify a certain number of home educated children about whom there are safeguarding concerns. It is unclear and can certainly not be instigated without there being any academic research to suggest what proportion of the home educating community is affected by protection issues.
Recommendation 26
This undermines a parents' responsibilities. There is a growing tendency for any statutory duty placed on LAs regarding their services for children to be placed on parents as well. Parents are not service providers – they are parents.
Recommendation 28
Providing LAs with the resources to act on any new duties given to them is a substantial undertaking. Another local home educating parent has postulated the following;
Assuming;
there are 80,000 home educated children, as is stated in the review as the high end estimate;
it takes approximately 2 hours per child for assessment (interviews, travelling, communications, writing of reports, etc.;)
then 160,000 working hours would need to be covered. In order to do this, it would take 4571 working weeks, if we assume a 35 hour working week. If the average LA case worker works
47 weeks a year (4 weeks holiday plus a week's sick/training days) this would take approximately 97 extra case workers across the country. If each of these case workers cost the LAs about £30,000 this would cost approximately £2,910,000. Is nearly £3 million an acceptable cost for changing legislation when there is no evidence that it is needed or that it would improve children's safety?
47 weeks a year (4 weeks holiday plus a week's sick/training days) this would take approximately 97 extra case workers across the country. If each of these case workers cost the LAs about £30,000 this would cost approximately £2,910,000. Is nearly £3 million an acceptable cost for changing legislation when there is no evidence that it is needed or that it would improve children's safety?
Conclusion
Throughout the Review there is reference to balancing the rights of children with the rights of parents. It appears that LAs want to interview our children to find out if they like being home educated. Funnily enough, no mention is made of interviewing schooled children to ascertain their wishes regarding their education and compelling the parents of those children to act accordingly. Many parents do believe that home education is a childrens' rights issue. They wish to take the wishes of their children into account when providing an education. However, until all children have the right to choose their educational setting, those children whose parents choose to educate otherwise than at school should not be subjected to additional scrutiny.
If you wish for any further information, the following may be of interest.
The Review in full, plus Ministerial statements can be accessed from this page.
This is the text of a speech given in the House of Commons by the Rt Hon Mark Fields (Cities of London and Westminster) (Con) regarding home education.
Manchester's response to a FOI request stating that there are no cases for concern relating to home educated children.
The full response of the Church of England to the Review, as truncated by Mr Badman."
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