2013

So when 2013 started, I thought it was going to be my year of change. As told in the previous post from 3 months ago, medical issues have been dominating the year and they are ongoing. The arthritis is getting better. Well, the arthritis is still there but lots of Pilates and a bit of physio and trying to walk and cycle a lot means that I am feeling better. Even been dancing in the past couple of weeks. :-)

When last I wrote I was still waiting for my physio and in a bit of pain when walking. I didn't know if I should push it or rest it. Well, going camping a couple of times meant I had to push it. First just to get across the fields to the toilets - then to run around the whole site asking people if they had seen The Babe. She had a great time! But all of that walking around worked out some muscles that obviously needed working out. I started the week on crutches, and ended able to walk around the whole site without them. :-)

We are still seeing the neuro for the Meister. They think it may be her thyroid. Funnily enough, Truffle is having cardiac problems and they are testing her thyroid as well. She has a heart murmur and is having palpitations and is has regular episodes of tachycardia, but they can't figure out why. The Meister is taking a homeopathic remedy at the moment for her thyroid, while we wait for appointments for more blood tests which will take us into December. So that is the year really isn't it.

I am still hoping for some sort of change. I started the year thinking that I would initiate some sort of change to make me happier with life in general. I attended a couple of open days about doing post grad study, but there is no way we can afford it. Although I did get excited about studying again. Or at least using my brain. I have sort of half-heartedly been looking for a job, but since it is  difficult finding anything part time for a very intelligent woman who has little job experience, that has actually been depressing me more. 

But money is not forthcoming from the universe in other ways. :-) And since our debt is piling up, I am back to looking seriously. And it is actually making me feel positive. Nobody seems to want to hire me, but I am finding enough to apply for, that I keep a little bit of hope alive every time I get a rejection or no response from the previous one.

All this means I am knitting and crocheting from my stash a lot, and developing a fondness for acrylic yarn. :-) Here is a selection of things made over the past 3 months.

There are three babies coming up so more will be made. And I have officially started my Christmas knitting as well. Haven't gotten very far, but at least I have started. Knitting and Pilates is my life these days. And crochet. :-)

Life gets complicated

I thought we were pottering along nicely there for a bit. Oh well.

The past few months have been dominated by medical issues. Not traumatic ones, but life changing ones. My hips stopped working properly back in Feb. I thought it was just more of my life long back problems so kept trying to do Pilates and sort it out. But I couldn't actually walk to Pilates classes.

After a few weeks I went to the doctor. It was a locum who didn't really listen to anything I said. Quite literally. When I was trying to tell him a bit of my 30+ years of dealing with back problems, he actually put his hand up and told me to start listening instead of talking, it was his turn to tell me what was wrong. Groin injury. Sprain. Buy a back brace. Take Ibuprofin. Rest. 

I went home and rested.  It got better. It got worse. It seemed to get better. Then it would be bad. I always overdid it on a good day. So I tried resting some more. Eventually I went back to the doctor who sent me for an X-ray. This was June 4th, after about 4.5 months of being mostly unable to walk the 50 yards to the shops.

A week later I got a phone call from a different doctor who said, "You have osteo-arthritis. Wear and tear. Lose weight. Go to Physio." That was it. When I said (quite impressively I might add) that I thought I was probably in shock at the news and that I would eventually have some questions, and who could I contact to talk about things, she told me to Google it.

In the mean time, I have given up eating wheat. I actually did that to kick start the weight loss. But two days later I could walk. The immediate pain went away. I could sleep better as my back pain was lessened significantly as well. I cannot believe the difference that giving up wheat has made!

But I am now waiting for appointments with the Physio and trying to get used to my new reality. Actually my lower back and right hip are still very problematic. I cannot use them properly. I cannot walk too far. I have bad days. I have good days. But I am still figuring all of this out, and I reckon it will take months, if not years.

Simultaneously, The Meister was having a hard time. She has been rushed off to A and E in an ambulance 3 times this year. She has been blacking out, and not remembering anything. A couple of these have been absolutely terrifying as she has been missing and I have been on the phone to the police reporting her as missing when I get a call on the other phone that the police have found her in a park that she doesn't know and they are worried she has been drugged because she is incoherent. It has all been pretty horrible. I won't go into too many details. We have seen the neurologist who thinks (as I do) that these are stress related episodes. CT scan didn't show anything. We don't think it is epilepsy, although I did for a while.

Adding to all of the stress is the fact that the Meister wasn't allowed out on her own in case she had an episode, but I couldn't walk, and we don't have a car, so I couldn't take her places. I am lucky that I have so many people who have been helping her get to activities. Thanks to some lovely people she has been able to get to drama and Guides, and to take part in the Manchester Day Parade, and perform at the Stockport Teenage Market.  But day to day has been quite boring and we have been spending a lot of time in front of screens, not really talking.

So we are now making attempts to communicate better. Well, I am. :-) And going to see the homeopath.  And getting ready to have a holiday that we can't afford. Thanks to my mother lending me some money to hire a van. But it is nice having something to look forward to.

The Meister has been to the homeopath first. It has already done her good as she is letting out a lot of pent up feelings. It is really hard being the 4th child. It is really hard having clever or talented siblings. It is really hard having an exhausted mother. It is really hard being displaced by a younger sister after 10 years. And it is really hard when money is tight and your mother spends her whole life saying no to everything you want.

And even though I had wanted to take her to the homeopath for ages, we didn't have the money. So I asked our lovely homeopath if I could knit her something in exchange for seeing Maggie. She said yes and is now the proud owner of  a lovely pair of socks made with Hand dyed yarn from Ripples crafts and using a pattern from Violet Green.

Life goes on. Either at home or the allotment. We don't stray far but are really looking forward to HESFES 2013! Now I just have to pack crutches and lots of knitting and crochet.

And another thing...

I seem to be getting my brain back.

What you need to understand, is that I am always been a voracious reader. I had a mother who used to say, "Get your nose out of that book and listen to me!" I read the Chronicles of Narnia in 2 days when I was off school being ill. My first taste of the Brontes came when I was 12 and in the 7th grade and Sister Anne Kieran recommended Jayne Eyre.   My BA is in Literature, and my MA in American Studies meant I got to read things like Edith Wharton and Henry James. Bliss.

But for some reason, I have really struggled with reading since having The Babe. Keep in mind she is nearly 3 and a half now. I have been knitting like mad. And crocheting. And lactating. And being all hormonal. But not really reading. I have read a few things - Bel Canto, The Tiger's Wife, Never Let Me Go, A Pale View of Hills, the first three books of The Tales of the Otori - but nothing like my 'usual' self. There was a time when that would be a month's reading list, not 3 years.

I was going to do a reading challenge that Martine is doing. Something about reading a book a month that has been on your to be read pile for at least a year. I starting doing a pile. But in the end, there weren't enough and then I got stressed about having to do it. So I just picked up a book and started reading. Geraldine Brooks, The People of the Book. Then it was Sandi Toksvig's Flying Under Bridges. Now I am reading another William Boyd. I do like William Boyd. And I have a present from Martine which is waiting to be next - Miss Peregrine's home for Peculiar Children. Sounds intriguing, doesn't it? :-)

Yes, I think my literary appetite may at last be returning. I shall have conversations with people about books, I shall carry my books around the house, I shall lose my page markers with abandon. It is all beginning to feel a bit 'normal'.

I may even put down my knitting. :-)

Is it really Feb already?

Back in September, I started making a jumper for Al. Nothing too exciting, just an every day casual thing which will probably be worn down at the allotment. I didn't think that much about it. He choose a pattern, and I choose some practical yarn, and now I wish it were more exciting because I am struggling to finish it. I just don't want to work on it. Blah.


But my displacement activity has been very productive...


I have made a lot of hats...

...and some bunnies...

... a pair of shorts...

...a 30th birthday present...

...an 18th birthday present...

...a fifth birthday present...

 ...and a few things for Christmas...

...plus four Xmas hats that didn't get photographed.


I only have one sleeve to go on the Jumper. It will get finished. Eventually. But in the mean time, not finishing it seems to be motivating me to finish everything else. :-)