Maternity care in south Manchester is complete Crap

I never thought I would say that, especially considering that I have had some lovely midwives, and 3 wonderful home birth experience. I have no idea what has happened in the past 10 years, (M is 10 years old today!) but I cannot believe how complete crap my antenatal care has been.

I had been a bit disappointed, and confused by it all, but today just tops it all off. I want nothing more to do with them at all.

A little bit of history. When I found out I was pregnant, I phoned my GP surgery to make an appointment with the midwife. I was told I had to see the GP. So I made an appointment to see the GP. She is very nice, but didn't do anything, didn't confirm pregnancy or anything like that. She referred me to either the hospital or the midwives, actually it is all a bit vague now.

I seem to remember getting a referral through the post, saying I could have an appointment in 67 days or something like that. I phoned up and was told I could make an appointment for a phone appointment. Which was only slightly ridiculous. But that is what I did. In the mean time, I think I saw a midwife at the GP surgery, who told me to go for my hospital appointments and go back to see them after 20 week scan. So I phoned the hospital again, and eventually got a booking in appointment. I had to go to Withington Community hospital for this. I resent going to hospitals, but went along. I have had to go back several times, and each time I get a little more angry.

I saw a great midwife, I think she was called Remy. Said I wanted a home birth, and she was fine with that, and my history, but did say I would have to see the consultant because my BMI is higher than they like for home births.

Went back for 20 week scan. Fine. Saw a doctor, not sure who she was, but I don't think it was the consultant, I think it was a locum. She was just a bit wet. Didn't really say anything of any importance, just the "We would like for you to be in hospital." Which I still don't get. I have a history of 5 births, no complications, all normal, and 3 of those have been at home. What is the big deal? So I happily ignored her.

Went on with the weird routines they have. Had bloods done at 16 weeks, which I have never had done before. And why is that no matter how many times I tell people they will end up sending me to the phlebotomist, because I have bad veins, they always feel a need to stick me with a needle first. As if they know my veins better than me. I have had holes made in every inch of my arms, wrists and back of hands this pregnancy.

Anyway, continued to see midwives at the GP surgery, and had a 28 week scan as well. All of this much more than I have ever had before. Tried to get out of making an appointment for 36 week scan, but they gave me one anyway.

So I went along last week for my 36 week scan, and sonographer was cross because they hadn't booked me in with her, and she didn't want to do me. In the end she did. She spent all of about 60 seconds taking measurements and then sent me back over the hall to the antenatal clinic. I had no idea what was going on, but they called me in to see a doctor, who proceeded to tell me why I should go into hospital. All things I have heard before, over 40, fat, grand multiparity, anaemia, and now they could add to the list, a big baby. I listened to him, pointed out that I had had no support. That I wasn't happy. That I wanted more information about all of these things...statistics, research papers, academic journals discussing these so-called risks. He didn't have them, and went to get his registrar.

Now, I have to admit that the registrar was a nice guy. Adi or somthing was his name. He spent ages with me, and was very up front about their need to cover their backs. But still, I don't have any statistics, or anything concrete to justify changing my mind from wanting a home birth. I said I would think about it, and talk to the midwife, at my appointment 2 days later.

So 2 days later, I am 36 weeks, and see a midwife who I have at least met once before. She isn't all that helpful. Apparently, it isn't a case of them 'wanting' to support me. It is a case of them 'having' to support me. She suggested that I write a letter waiving blame should anything go wrong. I actually said, "I want some support" but I guess that wasn't forthcoming. All that happened was she told me when I could go have a look at the birthing suite, and that she would leave a message for the midwife team leader to talk about my concerns. Apparently she is still away on holiday.

Oh, and to top that off, at that appointment I was told that I would no longer be able to have antenatal care there at the surgery, effective immediately, and would have to go one of the bloody Sure start centres. I was given a leaflet with phone numbers and told to make an appointment.

Well, I didn't. It was only a week ago.

So that leads us up to today. Which has just been shit. For the past couple of days I have noticed that I have suddenly started swelling. Which is fine, and normal. Except that I have never really experienced it before. So I thought I would leave it a day or two. This morning I woke up about 3 or 4 am, and my feet were really, really puffy. I was going to the clinic to have my dressing changed, and while I was there, I asked the nurse to take my blood pressure. It was 159 over 97. But it was on one of the machine ones that are not very reliable.

But it did mean that I thought I had a pretty good reason to phone the midwives. Especially since all the literature says that if you get swollen suddenly, to phone them. Well, it is a bit different if you actually try to phone. I phoned the number that was written down, which turned out to be wrong. There's a 2 not a 7. They gave me a different number. Which I didn't want either. I phoned the ANC Whythenshawe number, and spoke to somebody who transferred me to the Triage nurse. The Triage nurse said they were too full to see me there so I should phone one of the Sure Start centres and insist on being seen. She told me to rind Darley ave but didn't have a phone number. So I find a number online, which is actually their satelllite centre, and am given teh Darley ave number.

Finally get through, and am told they have no appointments. I explain the situation, and she tries to give me the number for the community midwives, who I have already phoned, as it was them that transferred me to the Triage. At this point, I am in tears. I cannot believe how they really don't give a shit about me or my baby, but all of their advice is based on not wanting to be sued. Actually phone them up with a concern, and they couldn't care less.

The receptionist says if she tries to squeeze me in, they will be cross. But she goes away, saying she will phone back before 12. She does. And apparently somebody has cancelled an appointment, and I can have it.

It was an experience. Firstly, I resent having to go somewhere new at 37 weeks. Secondly, I resent having to go someplace that is a 10 minute drive away, when I am used to going to my GP surgery, which is a 10 minute walk away (and that is a slow 36 week pregnant walk!)

Thirdly, I really resent that patronizing way they treat you in places like that. Some woman came up and offered me a breastfeeding leaflet. I just said no thanks. I have breastfed 4 kids for a total of about 14 years. I have breastfed through two pregnancies, I have tandem fed toddlers. What in the world could possibly be in that bloody leaflet for me? And they had a TV on with a breastfeeding film playing. Quite frankly, if I wasn't going to breastfeed already, it all would have turned me completely off the idea!

I found the centre, which is based at a bloody primary school. I saw the midwife, who was quite nice, but made me bring my pee back home to dispose of myself because they were out of clinical waste bags. She reassured me, I heard the baby's hearbeat, and I actually felt better for about 5 minutes. I asked when the home birth kit would be delivered to be told that they don't do that anymore, but some Entenox could be delivered tomorrow. The midwives just bring the kit when I go into labour. Fine, and then I dutifully made an appointment to go back in a fortnight, in spite of resenting having to go there.

Then I tried to leave. AS I mentioned before, the Sure Start Centre is part of a school, and school was letting out. They put up barriers to stop cars going in. Except I was already in. So I couldn't get out. I tried asking the lollipop man, who looked at me like an idiot. He apparently was incapable of saying, "I don't know." Another parent told me to go to the school office, so I left the car, and walked up in the rain. The receptionist said, "Well, there is a sign in the Sure Start centre" I am sure there is luv, but there are about 3500 signs up in the Sure Start Centre, most of them telling me how I should be parenting my children. I don't suppose anybody thought to put a sign up on the actual drive. Or to not move bloody antenatal services to a fucking school site in the first place!!!!!!

Anyway, was told the caretaker would be along, and he was. I just sat there with my engine running, listening to loud music for 10 minutes, and then I was set free. If they think I am ever, ever going back there, they are out of their minds. I may consider giving them a ring when I go into labour. But I am furious.

I am furious with the so called 'care' that I have received. I am angry that things I have mentioned to them have not been put into my notes. I am angry that they go on about my weight, but with the exception of my booking in appointment, not a single person has weighed me. I am angry that nobody has spent any time with me, finding out what I want. Nobody has mentioned a birth plan. And only two midwives of the the dozen or so I have met have acted positively about my desire to have a home birth. Remy, and Sue Moss. Both of whom I have met once. And Remy has retired, so I won't be getting her.

It has been explained to me that you see a different midwife every time in order to make sure that you will at least have met all of the midwives on the team. this is so when you go into labour you will have at least met them. Even if only for 10 minutes. What a crap idea. It used to be that they had coffee mornings for expectant mothers to go along and meet them all, and you developed a relationship with one or two midwives that you say regularly for your antenatal care, even if they weren't on duty when you went into labour.

But even this reasoning is spurious, because there are apparently 3 teams operating in South Manchester, and they are on duty on a rotating basis. So you have a 60% chance of getting somebody you have never met when you go into labour. It is all crap. And I don't really care to see any of them ever again.

Today, I feel angry and sad and really let down. They are supposed to be taking care of me, and they aren't. What they are trying to do is get me to make their lives easier, or less complicated, while they are making mine miserable. So, what I really want to do is ignore them all, and just go about things on my own. I may calm down. I may not. But either way, I will have had crap care.

Nests and whatnot

Just in case you are wondering, it is possible to experience empty nest syndrome, while you are 36+ weeks pregnant. S headed off to university yesterday, very excited, and with a huge smile on her face. :-)) I am glad she is so looking forward to it. It makes me remember how exciting it all was for me, and I am genuinely happy to see her looking forward to this new stage in her life.

Still, M and I sat and cried for a bit. And even though I don't FEEL sad about it, I do keep crying a bit. I imagine the hormones are playing a bit part in this, but all the little things that make me think of S, like shopping at Unicorn, frying up some potatoes and onions, Marmite on bagels, just bring tears to my eyes. Funny how all of those things are food. :-) Then again, there is always the West Wing DVDs as well. The last night she was home, neither of us could sleep. We were up at 4am watching a couple of episodes of West Wing series 4. Game on!

M wants to get started straight away on taking over S's old bedroom, which looks very forlorn and sad. Apparently we need pink paint...and lots of dusters!

I also have a few things I still want to do before the baby comes. Must finish study, tidy living room and keep kids toys out of it, and sew together a couple of baby jumpers. I would like to do the washing of the baby clothes this week as well. I have ordered some nappies from The Nappy Lady, and look forward to getting them, and seeing if I remember how to fold nappies! Must use some teddies to practise on.

So not funny...

Boil number one has healed, but number two was incised on Monday, after 7 hour wait in hospital. I am getting a bit fed up with this, and just hope it is all healed before I go into labour. I am also getting pressure to go into hospital to have this baby, which is shaking my confidence a bit. I have had 3 home births, no problems, why do they have to start now? Will talk to midwife tomorrow.

In the meantime, have finished knitting bits of a baby cardigan with Sidar denim dk. I don't really like that yarn as it splits a lot, but I think it will look nice. It is size 1-2 years as we have plenty of little stuff. I just need to sew it up now, and do the collar etc, which will take a while.

I am also working on a pair of leg warmers for S to take to uni. She heads off on Saturday. It doesn't look like I am going to be able to take her, which makes me soooooo sad, I just have to not think about it. I can't believe she is taking this huge step, and I am going to be sitting here, trying not to bump my wound, be sick, get worn out. :-( I want to see her flat, take her shopping, and say goodbye properly. Oh well. I will just have to send a pair of leg warmers instead.

I'm on a roll!

I must be on a roll because I finished another hat tonight. And she likes this one better.

And here is what the study looks like so far...

I hope that this time, organising it will actually pay off. I think the problem is that actually 4 of the 6 people who live in this family are slobs, and yes, I am including myself in that 4. :-) But if I am gonna try, I am gonna make sure everybody else tries as well!

Woo Hoo! Progress!

Have actually gotten some things done! Finished S's hat which I wanted to do before she heads off for university. The wool is sooo lovely. It is from Babylonglegs and I got it at the Rav Day in Coventry.
Also, Al and I have been working on sorting out the house a bit before the baby comes. I am nesting, so for me this is great. However, it is supposed to be his holiday, so we should make sure he enjoys himself at some point along the way. We've started with the study, formerly the junk room with the computer in. (Although the computer could be said to be junk as well.) I just want things to be a bit more organized so the older kids can actually access things, and use all of the stuff that we have in the house when the baby gets here. As it is now, we have to rearrange 5 things every time we decide we want to do something. And most of our stuff doesn't have a place. So we are getting rid of some of it.

Anyway, I am knackered after spending the day sorting in the study, and having walked up to the clinic to get my dressing changes. Walking is actually a bit painful these days as the baby is lying awkwardly, but hey, all my kids are awkward, so we may as well start as we mean to carry on. :-)

Gross!

Ok, so the district nurse came yesterday to clean my wound and change the dressing, and it hurt me so much that she couldn't do it. I sobbed, she was lovely. I was told to rinse it out today, and go to the clinic, with a plain dressing on it. Which means that I saw what it looks like.

I had rather thought that lancing a boil meant putting a couple of slices in it so stuff could seep out. It seems that rather than being sliced, I have had a hole cut out of my ass. It is about 3 cm wide, 1 cm tall and a couple of cms deep. And sore. But according to the lovely nurse, it isn't that bad. I just have to keep dressings on it for 2-3 weeks.

Blech.

knitting and sitting

I am not knitting anything at the moment because I can't sit down. I have had a boil on my bottom, (comical, yet oh so painful) for some weeks now and finally went to the hospital to have it lanced yesterday. Since I cannot knit lying down, I have been reading.
The Time Traveler's Wife (Audrey Niffennegger)
The Book Thief (Markus Zusack)
Gabriel's Gift (Hanif Kureshi)
Wish you were Here (Mike Gayle)
The Distant Land of my Father (Bo Caldwell)
I believe there was a Bill Bryson in there, and Orson Scott Card, and some Jane Austen, all being reread.
So at least my brain is working, even if my bum isn't. :-)