And if anybody can explain to me why my photos are never arranged in posts as they are when I am composing, then appreciation will be forthcoming.
Saturday, 24 October 2009
Just baby stuff
Too tired to do anything other than post some more photos. Thanks for all the comments. I will get back to you someday. :-) Although in the photos, you should note the lovely handmade cardigan by Martine, and the blanket made by me. Shame you can't see the socks, made by Tish.
And if anybody can explain to me why my photos are never arranged in posts as they are when I am composing, then appreciation will be forthcoming.
And if anybody can explain to me why my photos are never arranged in posts as they are when I am composing, then appreciation will be forthcoming.
Sunday, 18 October 2009
Wednesday, 14 October 2009
The Big Belly
Sunday, 11 October 2009
Productivity!
It is amazing what you can accomplish when the kids all go out for the afternoon! I have been sitting and knitting, and crocheting, and mastering my mattress stitch all day. I had done most of the knitting for these things, but never got around to stitching them together, but today I have done it! Listened to vinyl, Talking Heads, Tears for Fears, Bad Brains, some Classical film scores, and Voila! Here they are!
The Debbie Bliss Cashmerino hoody!
The Sirdar Supersoft Acrylic Cutie Patootie - slightly modified.
And the Tiny tots cardigan with crocheted edging because I couldn't be bothered to pick up and knit all of those stitches.
Ahhhhh! They are all sized 6 to 12 months, so hopefully they will get some use. I feel like I have accomplished something. :-)
The Debbie Bliss Cashmerino hoody!
The Sirdar Supersoft Acrylic Cutie Patootie - slightly modified.
And the Tiny tots cardigan with crocheted edging because I couldn't be bothered to pick up and knit all of those stitches.
Ahhhhh! They are all sized 6 to 12 months, so hopefully they will get some use. I feel like I have accomplished something. :-)
Saturday, 10 October 2009
Why witty?
When I named this blog I did actually think it would be all about knitting, since my family get sick of listening to me go on about wool and patterns etc. And I also thought it would be witty, since my plan was to chronicle all of my silly mistakes.
I guess with getting pregnant, and the government rearing its fascist head, I sort of got away from all of that. But here we go.
The good news is that I finally managed to do a decent mattress stitch. The bad news is that I managed to do it on a baby jumper, which I then noticed I had screwed up the front sides. :-( so this morning I have actually managed to unpick the mattress stitch, and undo the top half of both sides of the front, and an reknitting, and will soon be re-mattress stitching.
I am determined to get this done today! I must get something done! It is actually getting hard to knit anything, and I have to hold my arms above my HUGE belly! Maybe if I finish all of the lovely things I am trying to make for this baby, she will want to come out soon!!!!
I guess with getting pregnant, and the government rearing its fascist head, I sort of got away from all of that. But here we go.
The good news is that I finally managed to do a decent mattress stitch. The bad news is that I managed to do it on a baby jumper, which I then noticed I had screwed up the front sides. :-( so this morning I have actually managed to unpick the mattress stitch, and undo the top half of both sides of the front, and an reknitting, and will soon be re-mattress stitching.
I am determined to get this done today! I must get something done! It is actually getting hard to knit anything, and I have to hold my arms above my HUGE belly! Maybe if I finish all of the lovely things I am trying to make for this baby, she will want to come out soon!!!!
Friday, 9 October 2009
The government sucks
http://www.dcsf.gov.uk/everychildmatters/_download/?id=6667 At some point I hope to have the energy to produce a more articulate argument, but since nobody is listening anyway, why bother to expend the energy. I am furious.
Friday, 2 October 2009
Maternity care in south Manchester is complete Crap
I never thought I would say that, especially considering that I have had some lovely midwives, and 3 wonderful home birth experience. I have no idea what has happened in the past 10 years, (M is 10 years old today!) but I cannot believe how complete crap my antenatal care has been.
I had been a bit disappointed, and confused by it all, but today just tops it all off. I want nothing more to do with them at all.
A little bit of history. When I found out I was pregnant, I phoned my GP surgery to make an appointment with the midwife. I was told I had to see the GP. So I made an appointment to see the GP. She is very nice, but didn't do anything, didn't confirm pregnancy or anything like that. She referred me to either the hospital or the midwives, actually it is all a bit vague now.
I seem to remember getting a referral through the post, saying I could have an appointment in 67 days or something like that. I phoned up and was told I could make an appointment for a phone appointment. Which was only slightly ridiculous. But that is what I did. In the mean time, I think I saw a midwife at the GP surgery, who told me to go for my hospital appointments and go back to see them after 20 week scan. So I phoned the hospital again, and eventually got a booking in appointment. I had to go to Withington Community hospital for this. I resent going to hospitals, but went along. I have had to go back several times, and each time I get a little more angry.
I saw a great midwife, I think she was called Remy. Said I wanted a home birth, and she was fine with that, and my history, but did say I would have to see the consultant because my BMI is higher than they like for home births.
Went back for 20 week scan. Fine. Saw a doctor, not sure who she was, but I don't think it was the consultant, I think it was a locum. She was just a bit wet. Didn't really say anything of any importance, just the "We would like for you to be in hospital." Which I still don't get. I have a history of 5 births, no complications, all normal, and 3 of those have been at home. What is the big deal? So I happily ignored her.
Went on with the weird routines they have. Had bloods done at 16 weeks, which I have never had done before. And why is that no matter how many times I tell people they will end up sending me to the phlebotomist, because I have bad veins, they always feel a need to stick me with a needle first. As if they know my veins better than me. I have had holes made in every inch of my arms, wrists and back of hands this pregnancy.
Anyway, continued to see midwives at the GP surgery, and had a 28 week scan as well. All of this much more than I have ever had before. Tried to get out of making an appointment for 36 week scan, but they gave me one anyway.
So I went along last week for my 36 week scan, and sonographer was cross because they hadn't booked me in with her, and she didn't want to do me. In the end she did. She spent all of about 60 seconds taking measurements and then sent me back over the hall to the antenatal clinic. I had no idea what was going on, but they called me in to see a doctor, who proceeded to tell me why I should go into hospital. All things I have heard before, over 40, fat, grand multiparity, anaemia, and now they could add to the list, a big baby. I listened to him, pointed out that I had had no support. That I wasn't happy. That I wanted more information about all of these things...statistics, research papers, academic journals discussing these so-called risks. He didn't have them, and went to get his registrar.
Now, I have to admit that the registrar was a nice guy. Adi or somthing was his name. He spent ages with me, and was very up front about their need to cover their backs. But still, I don't have any statistics, or anything concrete to justify changing my mind from wanting a home birth. I said I would think about it, and talk to the midwife, at my appointment 2 days later.
So 2 days later, I am 36 weeks, and see a midwife who I have at least met once before. She isn't all that helpful. Apparently, it isn't a case of them 'wanting' to support me. It is a case of them 'having' to support me. She suggested that I write a letter waiving blame should anything go wrong. I actually said, "I want some support" but I guess that wasn't forthcoming. All that happened was she told me when I could go have a look at the birthing suite, and that she would leave a message for the midwife team leader to talk about my concerns. Apparently she is still away on holiday.
Oh, and to top that off, at that appointment I was told that I would no longer be able to have antenatal care there at the surgery, effective immediately, and would have to go one of the bloody Sure start centres. I was given a leaflet with phone numbers and told to make an appointment.
Well, I didn't. It was only a week ago.
So that leads us up to today. Which has just been shit. For the past couple of days I have noticed that I have suddenly started swelling. Which is fine, and normal. Except that I have never really experienced it before. So I thought I would leave it a day or two. This morning I woke up about 3 or 4 am, and my feet were really, really puffy. I was going to the clinic to have my dressing changed, and while I was there, I asked the nurse to take my blood pressure. It was 159 over 97. But it was on one of the machine ones that are not very reliable.
But it did mean that I thought I had a pretty good reason to phone the midwives. Especially since all the literature says that if you get swollen suddenly, to phone them. Well, it is a bit different if you actually try to phone. I phoned the number that was written down, which turned out to be wrong. There's a 2 not a 7. They gave me a different number. Which I didn't want either. I phoned the ANC Whythenshawe number, and spoke to somebody who transferred me to the Triage nurse. The Triage nurse said they were too full to see me there so I should phone one of the Sure Start centres and insist on being seen. She told me to rind Darley ave but didn't have a phone number. So I find a number online, which is actually their satelllite centre, and am given teh Darley ave number.
Finally get through, and am told they have no appointments. I explain the situation, and she tries to give me the number for the community midwives, who I have already phoned, as it was them that transferred me to the Triage. At this point, I am in tears. I cannot believe how they really don't give a shit about me or my baby, but all of their advice is based on not wanting to be sued. Actually phone them up with a concern, and they couldn't care less.
The receptionist says if she tries to squeeze me in, they will be cross. But she goes away, saying she will phone back before 12. She does. And apparently somebody has cancelled an appointment, and I can have it.
It was an experience. Firstly, I resent having to go somewhere new at 37 weeks. Secondly, I resent having to go someplace that is a 10 minute drive away, when I am used to going to my GP surgery, which is a 10 minute walk away (and that is a slow 36 week pregnant walk!)
Thirdly, I really resent that patronizing way they treat you in places like that. Some woman came up and offered me a breastfeeding leaflet. I just said no thanks. I have breastfed 4 kids for a total of about 14 years. I have breastfed through two pregnancies, I have tandem fed toddlers. What in the world could possibly be in that bloody leaflet for me? And they had a TV on with a breastfeeding film playing. Quite frankly, if I wasn't going to breastfeed already, it all would have turned me completely off the idea!
I found the centre, which is based at a bloody primary school. I saw the midwife, who was quite nice, but made me bring my pee back home to dispose of myself because they were out of clinical waste bags. She reassured me, I heard the baby's hearbeat, and I actually felt better for about 5 minutes. I asked when the home birth kit would be delivered to be told that they don't do that anymore, but some Entenox could be delivered tomorrow. The midwives just bring the kit when I go into labour. Fine, and then I dutifully made an appointment to go back in a fortnight, in spite of resenting having to go there.
Then I tried to leave. AS I mentioned before, the Sure Start Centre is part of a school, and school was letting out. They put up barriers to stop cars going in. Except I was already in. So I couldn't get out. I tried asking the lollipop man, who looked at me like an idiot. He apparently was incapable of saying, "I don't know." Another parent told me to go to the school office, so I left the car, and walked up in the rain. The receptionist said, "Well, there is a sign in the Sure Start centre" I am sure there is luv, but there are about 3500 signs up in the Sure Start Centre, most of them telling me how I should be parenting my children. I don't suppose anybody thought to put a sign up on the actual drive. Or to not move bloody antenatal services to a fucking school site in the first place!!!!!!
Anyway, was told the caretaker would be along, and he was. I just sat there with my engine running, listening to loud music for 10 minutes, and then I was set free. If they think I am ever, ever going back there, they are out of their minds. I may consider giving them a ring when I go into labour. But I am furious.
I am furious with the so called 'care' that I have received. I am angry that things I have mentioned to them have not been put into my notes. I am angry that they go on about my weight, but with the exception of my booking in appointment, not a single person has weighed me. I am angry that nobody has spent any time with me, finding out what I want. Nobody has mentioned a birth plan. And only two midwives of the the dozen or so I have met have acted positively about my desire to have a home birth. Remy, and Sue Moss. Both of whom I have met once. And Remy has retired, so I won't be getting her.
It has been explained to me that you see a different midwife every time in order to make sure that you will at least have met all of the midwives on the team. this is so when you go into labour you will have at least met them. Even if only for 10 minutes. What a crap idea. It used to be that they had coffee mornings for expectant mothers to go along and meet them all, and you developed a relationship with one or two midwives that you say regularly for your antenatal care, even if they weren't on duty when you went into labour.
But even this reasoning is spurious, because there are apparently 3 teams operating in South Manchester, and they are on duty on a rotating basis. So you have a 60% chance of getting somebody you have never met when you go into labour. It is all crap. And I don't really care to see any of them ever again.
Today, I feel angry and sad and really let down. They are supposed to be taking care of me, and they aren't. What they are trying to do is get me to make their lives easier, or less complicated, while they are making mine miserable. So, what I really want to do is ignore them all, and just go about things on my own. I may calm down. I may not. But either way, I will have had crap care.
I had been a bit disappointed, and confused by it all, but today just tops it all off. I want nothing more to do with them at all.
A little bit of history. When I found out I was pregnant, I phoned my GP surgery to make an appointment with the midwife. I was told I had to see the GP. So I made an appointment to see the GP. She is very nice, but didn't do anything, didn't confirm pregnancy or anything like that. She referred me to either the hospital or the midwives, actually it is all a bit vague now.
I seem to remember getting a referral through the post, saying I could have an appointment in 67 days or something like that. I phoned up and was told I could make an appointment for a phone appointment. Which was only slightly ridiculous. But that is what I did. In the mean time, I think I saw a midwife at the GP surgery, who told me to go for my hospital appointments and go back to see them after 20 week scan. So I phoned the hospital again, and eventually got a booking in appointment. I had to go to Withington Community hospital for this. I resent going to hospitals, but went along. I have had to go back several times, and each time I get a little more angry.
I saw a great midwife, I think she was called Remy. Said I wanted a home birth, and she was fine with that, and my history, but did say I would have to see the consultant because my BMI is higher than they like for home births.
Went back for 20 week scan. Fine. Saw a doctor, not sure who she was, but I don't think it was the consultant, I think it was a locum. She was just a bit wet. Didn't really say anything of any importance, just the "We would like for you to be in hospital." Which I still don't get. I have a history of 5 births, no complications, all normal, and 3 of those have been at home. What is the big deal? So I happily ignored her.
Went on with the weird routines they have. Had bloods done at 16 weeks, which I have never had done before. And why is that no matter how many times I tell people they will end up sending me to the phlebotomist, because I have bad veins, they always feel a need to stick me with a needle first. As if they know my veins better than me. I have had holes made in every inch of my arms, wrists and back of hands this pregnancy.
Anyway, continued to see midwives at the GP surgery, and had a 28 week scan as well. All of this much more than I have ever had before. Tried to get out of making an appointment for 36 week scan, but they gave me one anyway.
So I went along last week for my 36 week scan, and sonographer was cross because they hadn't booked me in with her, and she didn't want to do me. In the end she did. She spent all of about 60 seconds taking measurements and then sent me back over the hall to the antenatal clinic. I had no idea what was going on, but they called me in to see a doctor, who proceeded to tell me why I should go into hospital. All things I have heard before, over 40, fat, grand multiparity, anaemia, and now they could add to the list, a big baby. I listened to him, pointed out that I had had no support. That I wasn't happy. That I wanted more information about all of these things...statistics, research papers, academic journals discussing these so-called risks. He didn't have them, and went to get his registrar.
Now, I have to admit that the registrar was a nice guy. Adi or somthing was his name. He spent ages with me, and was very up front about their need to cover their backs. But still, I don't have any statistics, or anything concrete to justify changing my mind from wanting a home birth. I said I would think about it, and talk to the midwife, at my appointment 2 days later.
So 2 days later, I am 36 weeks, and see a midwife who I have at least met once before. She isn't all that helpful. Apparently, it isn't a case of them 'wanting' to support me. It is a case of them 'having' to support me. She suggested that I write a letter waiving blame should anything go wrong. I actually said, "I want some support" but I guess that wasn't forthcoming. All that happened was she told me when I could go have a look at the birthing suite, and that she would leave a message for the midwife team leader to talk about my concerns. Apparently she is still away on holiday.
Oh, and to top that off, at that appointment I was told that I would no longer be able to have antenatal care there at the surgery, effective immediately, and would have to go one of the bloody Sure start centres. I was given a leaflet with phone numbers and told to make an appointment.
Well, I didn't. It was only a week ago.
So that leads us up to today. Which has just been shit. For the past couple of days I have noticed that I have suddenly started swelling. Which is fine, and normal. Except that I have never really experienced it before. So I thought I would leave it a day or two. This morning I woke up about 3 or 4 am, and my feet were really, really puffy. I was going to the clinic to have my dressing changed, and while I was there, I asked the nurse to take my blood pressure. It was 159 over 97. But it was on one of the machine ones that are not very reliable.
But it did mean that I thought I had a pretty good reason to phone the midwives. Especially since all the literature says that if you get swollen suddenly, to phone them. Well, it is a bit different if you actually try to phone. I phoned the number that was written down, which turned out to be wrong. There's a 2 not a 7. They gave me a different number. Which I didn't want either. I phoned the ANC Whythenshawe number, and spoke to somebody who transferred me to the Triage nurse. The Triage nurse said they were too full to see me there so I should phone one of the Sure Start centres and insist on being seen. She told me to rind Darley ave but didn't have a phone number. So I find a number online, which is actually their satelllite centre, and am given teh Darley ave number.
Finally get through, and am told they have no appointments. I explain the situation, and she tries to give me the number for the community midwives, who I have already phoned, as it was them that transferred me to the Triage. At this point, I am in tears. I cannot believe how they really don't give a shit about me or my baby, but all of their advice is based on not wanting to be sued. Actually phone them up with a concern, and they couldn't care less.
The receptionist says if she tries to squeeze me in, they will be cross. But she goes away, saying she will phone back before 12. She does. And apparently somebody has cancelled an appointment, and I can have it.
It was an experience. Firstly, I resent having to go somewhere new at 37 weeks. Secondly, I resent having to go someplace that is a 10 minute drive away, when I am used to going to my GP surgery, which is a 10 minute walk away (and that is a slow 36 week pregnant walk!)
Thirdly, I really resent that patronizing way they treat you in places like that. Some woman came up and offered me a breastfeeding leaflet. I just said no thanks. I have breastfed 4 kids for a total of about 14 years. I have breastfed through two pregnancies, I have tandem fed toddlers. What in the world could possibly be in that bloody leaflet for me? And they had a TV on with a breastfeeding film playing. Quite frankly, if I wasn't going to breastfeed already, it all would have turned me completely off the idea!
I found the centre, which is based at a bloody primary school. I saw the midwife, who was quite nice, but made me bring my pee back home to dispose of myself because they were out of clinical waste bags. She reassured me, I heard the baby's hearbeat, and I actually felt better for about 5 minutes. I asked when the home birth kit would be delivered to be told that they don't do that anymore, but some Entenox could be delivered tomorrow. The midwives just bring the kit when I go into labour. Fine, and then I dutifully made an appointment to go back in a fortnight, in spite of resenting having to go there.
Then I tried to leave. AS I mentioned before, the Sure Start Centre is part of a school, and school was letting out. They put up barriers to stop cars going in. Except I was already in. So I couldn't get out. I tried asking the lollipop man, who looked at me like an idiot. He apparently was incapable of saying, "I don't know." Another parent told me to go to the school office, so I left the car, and walked up in the rain. The receptionist said, "Well, there is a sign in the Sure Start centre" I am sure there is luv, but there are about 3500 signs up in the Sure Start Centre, most of them telling me how I should be parenting my children. I don't suppose anybody thought to put a sign up on the actual drive. Or to not move bloody antenatal services to a fucking school site in the first place!!!!!!
Anyway, was told the caretaker would be along, and he was. I just sat there with my engine running, listening to loud music for 10 minutes, and then I was set free. If they think I am ever, ever going back there, they are out of their minds. I may consider giving them a ring when I go into labour. But I am furious.
I am furious with the so called 'care' that I have received. I am angry that things I have mentioned to them have not been put into my notes. I am angry that they go on about my weight, but with the exception of my booking in appointment, not a single person has weighed me. I am angry that nobody has spent any time with me, finding out what I want. Nobody has mentioned a birth plan. And only two midwives of the the dozen or so I have met have acted positively about my desire to have a home birth. Remy, and Sue Moss. Both of whom I have met once. And Remy has retired, so I won't be getting her.
It has been explained to me that you see a different midwife every time in order to make sure that you will at least have met all of the midwives on the team. this is so when you go into labour you will have at least met them. Even if only for 10 minutes. What a crap idea. It used to be that they had coffee mornings for expectant mothers to go along and meet them all, and you developed a relationship with one or two midwives that you say regularly for your antenatal care, even if they weren't on duty when you went into labour.
But even this reasoning is spurious, because there are apparently 3 teams operating in South Manchester, and they are on duty on a rotating basis. So you have a 60% chance of getting somebody you have never met when you go into labour. It is all crap. And I don't really care to see any of them ever again.
Today, I feel angry and sad and really let down. They are supposed to be taking care of me, and they aren't. What they are trying to do is get me to make their lives easier, or less complicated, while they are making mine miserable. So, what I really want to do is ignore them all, and just go about things on my own. I may calm down. I may not. But either way, I will have had crap care.
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